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I don't like the crumbs,  
But I eat them anyway.  
I eat them like they're whole,  
As they are the best part to me.
They are always there.
Like a man who's instead  
Learned to fish
There's more
to be had,  
Saving the rest for later.

I take slow, small, deliberate
bites,  
Like a goldfish,  
Mostly inhaling water,  
Saving the bigger pieces
for you.

Although they're all mine,  
They taste better, knowing  
That I've shared them with you.  
No matter how far these crumbs  
Drift apart,  
Whether you eat them fast  
Or you eat them slow,  
There will always be something left  
To swim around
in your stomach.

I am afraid to close my eyes  
And miss the moment you  
Savor it all.  
I could tell you that I've saved  
The best part
for you,  
Knowing that it's all I have to give.  
My hands are only so big
My bones ache from all  
the cleaning I've done.  
I've cleaned up all the dust  
and finally hit the floorboards that  
I always tell myself that I’m going to clean.  
The patches in my life that always seem to be going right, until I look closer.

I've picked up and sorted through  
all the clothes I've let pile up  
on the couch.  
The clothes that have waited  
for someone to come in and take  
the place of.  
I've cleaned between the cracks  
of the tiles in the kitchen  
and scrubbed down the walls  
Of my heart.  
Although I am tired, I still keep going.  
I haven't felt  
this way in a long time.  
I feel alive,  
making room in my heart for someone new.  

I've gotten rid of  
all the things that I thought  
held meaning in my life.  
The ghost of the person I thought  
I was, now in the trash.  
I hear him screaming,  
waving his hands around, asking hey what happened.
I am making room for you in my heart
with every intention  
of hoping that you'll stay.  
Or at the very least, leave a part of you  
With me.  
I've cleaned between the cracks  
of the tiles in the kitchen  
and scrubbed down all the walls,
Even the parts behind the furniture.

I am ready, whenever you are  
comfortable enough to move in.
I'll even help unpack
It's crazy how someone
Can come into your life
And crack you open,
Like an egg on the edge
Of the counter.
Everything that you thought was
Perfect,
Leaking out from the edges
Of what you knew.

You find out how much of yourself
Spreads out and fills the empty space
What you felt, what you feel.
The pain of change.
They love you fully,
Even the shell of who you were
Before they came in.
They whisk you around
And show you how beautiful life
Can truly be.
Their love, the salt and pepper,
Sprinkled across the fried edges
Of your soul.

It's crazy how someone can come
Into your life,
And you lie helpless on the skillet
Of their heart.
The most important thing to remember
Are the memories.
Loving them with everything you gave
Nothing fits right anymore,
like trying to walk in shoes three sizes too small.
I feel each step, my toes crumbled up,
crunched in the toe,
I walk crooked, trying to find any bit of relief.
But it’s never enough.
Tight in the places that matter most,
pinched and cramped, like the space you left behind.
The more I try to follow,
the more I feel like I'm in the wrong.

When I take them off,
I feel the ache of crooked blisters.
Red and bruised heels,
But I cannot walk around without shoes.
I understand that you can’t make everything in life work,
but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
These shoes drag the weight of good intentions,
and I trip over everything.

I’ve been to different stores,
but the shoes they offer fit too loose.
I try to walk, but the shoes don’t bend.
A normal five minute walk
expands into hours.
Too wide to make a complete trip
Without pain,
nothing fits right anymore
outgrown, worn, too tight.
Everyone points and laughs at a man
With shoes three sizes too small.
Who am I to chase

The weight of who I am without you sets in.
I am lost in a world without you.
All I have are these shoes that I cannot fill
without you
I brought a ticket to come and see you
Today. When I looked at the print,
I realized that it was a one-way,
With a layover in your thoughts.
Truth be told, I didn’t mind at all.
The tickets for all the other flights
Were weeks, even months out,
I paid more because I really wanted
to get there.
The ticket being nonrefundable
Made the trip that much enjoyable
Despite popular belief.
I didn’t go too much on the reviews.
Very rarely do you see one that tells
The entire truth, there is always something
Wrong. Whether it’s the seat, someone telling you
don’t drink the water, or the towels.
It’s always the towels or the sheets, for some
Odd reason.
I don’t mind a bit of turbulence.
When I got on the plane, I noticed that it wasn’t
as clean as I expected,
But it was cool. It wasn’t something
To just get upset and cancel the whole trip over.
Judging by the reviews, it’s easy to forget
That were all human. Sometimes things happen.
I leaned back in my seat and remembered that I had
Forgotten something.
I unclicked my seat belt and checked my pockets.
Nothing.
Although I am sure that I’ll arrive safely,
I’ll replace the kiss that you gave me
The last time I saw you, soon as I step off
The plane with a new one from you
Although ugly,
Something beautiful happens.
The air suddenly gets thick.
Your hand ***** up and flies
up to your mouth.
Lungs ache, just as we do.
They cling to breath as if
It's the last thing they have.
I cough, and my whole body heaves.
Just like you when I am behind you
My eyes tighten, and after a moment,
It's over.

A wet kiss turned inside out,
Bottled up and forced out.
An act of surrender,
Forced out in urgency.
A noise that signals sickness,
But at the same time
Searches for a fresh breath.
At times, a cough can be sickening,
Sometimes nasty.
But when everything rattles loose,
And that ache is gone.
Sometimes,
That's the best kind of love
The heart is a fragile thing,  
Only able to hold so much.  
Like a ship  
Sailing through a storm.  
Some make it through.  
Others, water fills the hull.  
  
Wave after wave,  
Try as you might.
You must stay afloat
The best way you can.  
No matter how many patches,  
Water still leaks in.  
Just like a heart,  
Pumping, but weighed down.
You must keep going.  
Take the proper precautions,
Jump overboard,
Swim if you must,  
No matter how many lies  
Have poked and prodded  
At your heart.  
No matter how many holes  
Have pierced your soul.  
Don’t drown.  
As long as you keep kicking,  
The sun will always shine.
Not all beautiful locations are
charted on a map
I press the buttons in a frenzy,
Lost in the glow of the TV screen.
The controller sweaty in my hand.
I tap away, making my way
Back to you.

To be honest, I didn't think
I'd like this game.
But now, I am hooked.
As dope as this game is,
It cheats.

You're a cheater! But I love it.
I don't need a tutorial,
and refuse to play through it.
I will make it back to you,
And beat you!

You, standing there with your ****
Avatar.
A quick reset, and I respawn,
Ready to get you!
Soon as the loading screen finishes
Loading. The only thing keeping me away from you, is how you cheat.
My avatar respawns,
Halfway through the level,
And there you are,
Waiting,
Like you have something better to do.
I will not rage quit!
I will beat this stage!
No one taught me how to play,
But once I win,
I'll have something to hold
over your head.
Even better
I didn't cheat to get your heart
I met you where night hangs like a prayer, and the planets spin around and around. In a world with no gravity, you pulled me in, right beside the stars that die in silence. Here, everything freezes.
And your eyes are the most beautiful thing to look at. In the deepest of dark, our hearts dance on dust and ice. Here, the wind howls, and chips of ice blow in the wind, swallowed whole by the emptiness around. Between the dying stars, we searched for a spark. A solemn flame that would keep us alive. The air here is dangerously thin, but this flame would still survive. A saving grace, ions away from home, crash-landing here wasn't so bad in the end. Far away from everything that we know, better here than a place we've never heard of. Though the ground beneath us will hold us forever, I've found this solemn spark, one that I'll remember forever. Although the stars around are too tired to shine, like them, we too, fight to burn. Two bodies lost in the dark
We collide like thunder.
Wrapped in your indigo skin,
Wrapped in your warmth,
Fingers dig through the ache
Of wanting more.
Coiled tight,
Clinching,
An reaction of skin
pressed against skin.
I wear your shadow.
Thick in your sweat.
Like lightening you stretch.
Your breath rises,
In search of something to devour.
Again we collide.
Striking the gap
of emptiness between us.
Your eyes searching me.
The primal urge
to connect.
Still searching.
Still craving.
Marking where we lay,
Until the next storm

— The End —