𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 
𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒
𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑘𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒
𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒.

𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡
𝑖𝑡 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡
𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡
𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑠.

𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦, 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑜 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦
𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ, 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦
𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛
𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛
𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠, 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦.
𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑦.

𝑆𝑜 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤, ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑
𝐼'𝑚 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑
𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒
𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑑, 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒.

A clipped voice,
slips noise-
lessly
into
the fray.

Yellow
and shaky.
Bland, I know.
I hate to
Say.

Butterfly
in a storm,
normally deep.
I crack,
lacking wingspan.

Headcave retreat.
Feet save
my mouth.
Because the wrong
thing ran.

You must gaze into 

your pool of fears 

and dive.

If you fall into a well 

of corpses, blood, and bones

sew your carcasses together,

and climb the rotting ladder.

If you fall into a tiny box

with no light and no air

close your eyes and do not breathe

let your soul melt out peacefully.

If you fall into an ocean

and find sharks and no way up

make sure you feed the sharks your limbs

then command them to swim. 

If you're lucky, they will carry you to shore.

If you fall into a pit

of high mountains and clouds

jump off the cliff and reach towards the sky

put your head back and say your goodbyes.

If you fall into a room

with no one but yourself and the silence

scream at the top of your lungs

until someone cuts off your tongue.

If you fall into your own home

and see the one you love most

**** them before someone else does.

Hopefully by then end,

you'll swim out as more than a ghost. 

And you'll know what you need

to do to make the most.

She lived on
the outskirts of sanity,
took up jogging
to outrun the rush
of other voices,
burned a sick day
organizing her own criticisms,
shaved her legs and edges
for practice sake,
trimmed her disorders
as "normal" girls do,
bought a fancy dress
to envy but never wear,
made marks on the calendar
to believe she had places to be,
like the local
coffee shop,
where they serve
a favorite flavor,
somewhat stable,
somewhat frenzy.