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ellie Apr 2015
I'm scared of just about everything.

I'm scared of spiders, they have too many limbs and too many eyes and it makes my skin crawl.
Though I stopped admitting it years ago, I am scared of the dark. When the lights turn off and the sun goes down the idea of being alone with no idea of what is around me gives me goosebumps.
I'm scared of being hurt, even though I am always the one who ends up breaking hearts.
However much I ignore it, I am scared of silence. That complete soundless ringing that fills my head and whisks up my thoughts makes me uncomfortable in ways I cannot describe with words.
I'm scared of getting lost, because even though I want to be spontaneous like the cool girls in the movies the idea of not knowing where I am terrifies me.
Despite everything life has thrown at me, I am scared of being myself. I have a million alter egos and personalities stored in my head because the reality of who I am makes me sick.
I'm scared of outer space, and how one little push can send you floating into the unknown without ever stopping.
Unsurprisingly, I am scared of my mother dying. Through thick and thin she supports me and to this day her warth gives me life in ways nothing else does.
I'm scared of the ocean, because even though I love fish I cannot stand not being aware of what is beneath me as I paddle on the surface.
In a sick and ironic way, I am scared of dying. Despite my wishes for death and suicide attempts, when I am in a dangerous situation my stomach clenches and I cling to the life I have.

I'm scared of just about everything,
including fear itself.
I don't know really
Ashley Nicole Mar 2015
You know you're happy with life
When you finally fear death
Happy days
Dylan G Nov 2014
I lean back in my chair
Sit and stare

WHAT WAS THAT!
Something catches my eye
I jolt back in fear, then just sigh

I look at the spider, the root of anxiety
The critter creeping and crawling ever so quietly

I watch and sit still
It waits on the window sill

Instinct inside says to end its existence
But value for life does not offer compliance

Though it is the source of caution and fear
I cannot help but stay near

And so I sit and stare
Lean back in my chair

WHAT WAS THAT!
The spider catches my eye
I jolt back in fear, then just sigh
A poem I quickly wrote as I stared at a spider on my wall.  WAIT! Now it's moving!
Neon lights Oct 2014
Framed so poetically, there it stays
Never steps out of its flimsy boundary line but
it takes in everything with him
Inside a a static sea frame, there
roam all the wild guesses you
took:
all blue
all trapped, as erratic and diminishing as it was named.
Was you were to throw that time when
you tried to take to the sea
all into it?
There is no need to make me open my eyes to see something as obvious as this for a even a blind man can see it so crystal clear
in his pitch black vision
I'm closing my eyes and hope it stops
but

   I remember waking up
   somewhere in midnight term
   drowning in salty seas
   and making bitter coffee to
   recede the former taste.
   I found your diary on the sea
   shore with all of the demerara
   sugar sand
   disconnecting wires in my mind
   with overflowing water in the
   bathtub
   and getting electrocuted.
   Alarms when off buzzing with
   tick tocks
   I found myself with
   a pacemaker also
   your dying digital clock you had
   since forever, displaying
   blurs of phobia


Am I wrong to be trying
to breath underwater
Would it be right to despise
the blue sea that should soothes us
that turned grey for all our
fears we threw in without hesitate
I put all of my fears into this sea,
as a glitched version of your
deceiving eye hue,
demerara sugar on the edge of
your lips lingering in my coffee
chronomentrophobia oh thalassophobia,
yet I was to choose between icy cold ocean air and
falling into clocks' icicle-like hands.
This
is much of an error as it is
a tsunami washing us with a tide of heartache like
over sugared coffee with still bitter taste that melted into
my inner cheeks when I had ulcers
and
you wearing wristwatch while holding my hands.
I spent the day researching phobias and learnt that there are phobia for almost everything. I am not suffering from any of two of this phobias. I also spent the day learning about sugar types and pacemaker and coffee. Sometimes I think phobias are beautiful in some unexplainable ways.
Erenn Sep 2014
Face the
truth
Before it's too
late
Face your
fears
Only you can
****** it.
Face it,
Don't ever run.
It will keep chasing you forever
Unless you **** it.
(I reposted this cause i think it deserves the recognition and message that i want to bring out)
So do repost or like if you have the time, or you find this relevant:)
Steff Sep 2014
Imagine wanting to say something,
Having so much to say,
But nothing will come out.
You're trapped in your own mind.
It's as if you have stage fright,
And the whole world is a stage,
And you can't speak the lines
That you've rehearsed
Over and over, countless times.

Imagine people telling you
To stop being shy, to talk,
But they don't understand
How real this fear is.

What if you say the wrong things?
What if no one likes you?
Feeling as if they think you're weird,
That they don't want to talk to you.
And it's those fears that trap the words,
Trap all the things you have to say.
It's not easy, it's terrifying.
And no one seems to get it,
This is not just shyness,
This is not antisocial,
It's anxiety, it's a phobia.
And it hurts.
I'm so tired of being told to get over it.
i Apr 2014
-the deep feeling
of being alone or
feeling loneliness;
the morbid dread
of being alone.
*i guess i finally
found my condition,
and no cure for it.
at least i am going
to die alone,
there will be no one
to show fake sincerity
for my death.
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