The clergy men often say
"Devout and holy we gather"
"Sit down for only we"
Did you remember the day?
When all the priests that stood
Gazing from under their hood
Lied plain for you
All promising that your pay
"Would go to our most pure father"
"His heavenly host cures"
"And leads us home"
Yet, look what they did to pray
For that little girl did
Kneeling down as pearl did
For Father or for God?
Innocence stolen by men forced to dire actions by an ancient society of hypocritical monsters.
This just has been an idea of mine I've been working on, it may not be that great.
Have you ever wondered
What it's like to live a life that's been plundered
Body and emotions *****
What kind of monstrous life it shaped
Let me tell you a story
I apologize now, it maybe a little gory
It's about a little girls life
How she was forced to walk on the edge of the knife
The sadness started at her birth
At this event there was no mirth
Before her a brother at 4 months had died
She was not born a boy so her mother cried
But she was the apple of her Dad's eye
So for the next 7 years
Her world was full of cheer
Except for her mother's geers
There was mud pies
Slip and slides
Daddy's hand to hold
Big sisters kisses
Mother's suppers delicious
Then came the split
Her heart was ripped
A dad rarely seen
A mother that was mean
Then came the step dad, what he did was obscene
A mom never knowing
Around the girl the darkness was growing
The keys on his belt jingled down the hall
He was coming to call
Under the covers the girl of 8 cowered
For he held all the power
Step dad beat the girl's mom all the time
He threatened the child, "tell no one, I claim you as mine"
She told not a soul, not even her Dad
She was afraid step dad would hurt him bad
Besides a new family with a new baby boy her Dad had
So she suffered in silence till the age of 14
When thinking back on what her years had gleaned
For her dad had recently passed away
It made her heart cave
She made a trip to the cemetery laid down on his grave
Took a handful of sleeping pills, death she craved
To her disappointment around noon the next day she woke up
Trudged back home, knowing she would have to drink the wrath from her mother's cup
Fast forward a few years
There was still plenty of tears
The sins of a mother is like no other
On the little girl they covered and smothered
The little girl knowing only pain as love
The girl married a man that beat and shoved
After four kids of her own, 3 daughters and a son
She found the key to her rusty cage and made a run
She was bound and determined thier childhood would be full of fun
For man's wicked way she had been shown
So for 13 years her and her kids lived all alone
She tried her hardest to protect them from the monsters
Only family was let close enough to love and foster
She didn't realize her mother had married ANOTHER *******
The little girl's SON'S soul was tossed into the fire
Though she questioned her children all the time, the results was the same
Her son suffered in silence and shame
Even though the little girl didn't know, she was mom and she was to blame
All of her love couldn't heal her sons pain
The years ticked by
She lived under the darkest of skies
Her son's anger grew
He's words created scars that where new
Along with the constant every two year visits of the abusive alcoholic she had once been chained to
That girl decided her kids where grown and with her life she was through
Swallowed two bottles of pills
Praying it would cure all her ills
She went behind the veil to the dark quite abyss
Her children would be all she missed
Much to her chagrin
Those doctors brought her back to life again
Fast forward just two more years
There would be new founded fears
That abusive alcoholic made another visit, dragged her to the woods
***** her in the worst way he could
He left her miles from nowhere, bruised and bartered
More holes in her soul, ripped and tattered
That was a year ago
The darkness from it all still grows
She struggles every day
As she tries to keep the demons and darkness at bay
For her thoughts heavily weigh
When she thinks back on her life in decay
Are you wondering what happened to that little girl lost
How she lives on still paying the cost
Well you see
That Little girl is me
I'm still all alone
In my bedroom at home
That is where I cry
Screaming at a non existing God why
Why, I was only given a few happy years
With agony the rest was filled
Not understanding why I was spit out of deaths mouth, just to be ***** again
Tell me God, at the age of 8 what was my sin
Why was I condemned
Never to see blue skies again
I knew I should have ran
the moment he pulled up in a car
my parents can't even afford.
I should have ran when I noticed that
he had more hair on his face than his head.
Nineteen year old boys aren't
supposed to drive nice cars.
And nineteen year old boys
aren't supposed to look like
twenty five year old men.
It didn't matter though
because he said he liked me
and he invited me to
cuddle and watch movies.
I didn't care that his car
was probably stolen,
or that he looked twenty five.
I just needed to be held
and it didn't matter by who.
His house was just minutes away
But it felt like worlds.
This place he called home didn't
look like much of a home at all.
I should have ran
Soon as it became clear
that this was more than two
friends hanging out.
Because as we
walked through the door,
He pushed me against the
and he grabbed me in places
I won't even touch when I'm alone.
I should have pushed him away
and ran as fast as I could.
But I didn't.
He showed me upstairs
to a room full of innocence.
and cute stuffed animals.
I should have ran when such a grown man
invited me into such a small child's bed.
But I didn't.
I layed next to him
resting my head on his chest.
I was expecting a movie
but what I got was
rough hands up my shirt
and a tongue down my throat.
For the first time in my life
But this is a nineteen year old boy
who wants to do more than cuddle.
This is a twenty five year old man
who doesn't take no for an answer.
I should have ran down the stairs,
out the door,
down the road,
through a river
through a ******* barb wire fence.
I should have ran far as I could.
But I didn't.
"You're a tease."
Now I'm not saying no.
I'm not saying stop.
doesn't keep hands from wandering
Doesn't make him change his mind.
I lay there and do what I'm told
because im tired of
I'll never win.
He looks me in my eyes
as I give him what he wants.
He's looking into my soul
as I surrender myself.
I should have ran
*but I didn't
— The End —