If the Frisbee you throw,
doesn't come back,
it was never yours to begin with.

If you want to fill,
the huge hole in your heart,
cover it up with your new found thoughts.

I am utterly confused
I dont know what to do
its all feel empty
alot of spaces to be filled
but nothing to fill in
to those times I feel most desperate
for a solution

I am feeble
I cant think properly
my mind is full of unsaid things
they give me two options
i feel vulnerable
puzzled by tons of decisions
to some times I feel hopeless
for an answer

I am heartless
everything went fine physically
despite what I truly feel
inside of this paralyzed smile
all the pain was hidden
but still
no resolutions

Who's to know right from wrong
If the wrong is all your eyes can see
Your mind is stuck on that one song
Hateful song that sadly gives you glee

Who's to know the correct faction
Empty passion filled with no voice
The sweet nothing mansion of options
The deceitful proof of choice

Who's to say if you will exceed
Jammed in a pocket full of confetti
In the end, even after you bleed
Blasting with colour but no identity

Who's to say you're special
Special only if you do the obvious
So start pacing in dimensional
Basking in uncertainty will make you glorious.

Years ago, I would put up a white flag instead of fighting back.

Years ago, I would make a toasted cheese instead of my favorite.

But that moment in a lift, a night in December, I knew my heart turned cold.

That my once favorite name that I always whisper, is now the one that  I despise.

For that "you count on me" line, turned to "don't try to ask me back."

I've got to make a decision, make some moves.
Live and learn.
Take it a day at a time.
No matter if you lose.

I look around
In this crowded place
And my eyes fall on you,
Just simple you,
And it dawns on me:
Somebody loves you.

Yes, somebody loves you
And to them you are not simple
But blissfully grand
And lovely and perfect,
But not to me
And that's really okay.

To me, you are a cold stranger,
With sunken eyes
I know not the color of
With a nervous tapping habit
Who chews a little loud
And needs to use chap stick.

But to me, there is a warm love,
With gleaming blue eyes
Too beautiful for you to understand,
Who drums his fingers in grace
As he chews on the cookies I baked,
Using his kissable lips.

If you saw him,
You could never see what I see,
Like I can never see what they see
In you.
We can't see it in ourselves either,
But to the one it is always clear.

I've never looked at mine
I guess
I settled
For being one
I left one hat
To jump in another
And they draw me
And put me back

I'm an option
Never a choice
Always the fish
You throw back
I'm fine with that
I guess being forced on people
Makes me ugly
Makes me a chore
And I try and make up for it
By being a *****

Everyone knows that i still love math and science.
But i have plenty of options for that too.
Because this is going to be a great party ever.
And i still wanna celebrate all day and all night.
We are never gonna waste time for all the things we've had done fot the past couple of years.
Anyways, i still love the rain so much because it's way better than snow.
Besides, there's no snow in New England yet, but we'll see if i can predict the weather for the winter season as soon as possible.
And since it's the final month of 2015, i can do whatever i want to in a new partner and i can fall in love with someone all over again.

Anonymous. 12/2/2015.
©2015 by Trevon S. Haywood.