As long as you're happy
I am content
Even though my heart will be broken
And will forever lament

Loving a stranger I had been
Marked in permanence was
Not a phrase but her name
Penetrating deep into my skin of life
It's not a scar,it's never a scar
It's the ink holding meaning
They say it lasts forever
But it's only until I reach the grave
On my arm was Valentina ,carved
A result of countless pricking needles
I didn't see the inked name, I saw her
Whatever on my heart was  
Was beyond anything she could ever see
She should've known the feeling , but
Loving a stranger I had been

Perhaps it was easy to fall back
into what it was,
what we were...
An almost-friendship
acquaintance,
rather than what we could be-
like an almost-lover friendship...
no, that'll be a harder fall.
Because we never really had
any memories to forget, never had,
never will.

I am seeing 'this' for what it really is,
A fragile bubble too easy to pop
with single pin *****-
and the larger it gets,
the thinner it becomes-
as it goes untouched,
it will just vanish
into nothingness without any
trace of its prior existence.

And that's what it is, was...
a something sort of nothing.

You ripped my
Dark beating heart
Out of my chest
Held it in your hands
Admired the feel,
Gave it a kiss
Then made the cold pain
Turn to warm love,
Then threw it on the ground
Stomped all over it
Leaving it with fingertips
That once held my heart
And is now left with scars
And bruises that
Can't be healed

Ako di man adunahan
Pero kun ako man gali ma gugmaan
Akong ihatag ang akong tanan

Pero unsaon taman
Hangtod diri ra gyud taman
Kay bahalag gihatag ko na sa imo ang tanan
Ikaw man gihapon nakulangan

Wa ko man na abot
Ang pangarap nga mahawiran imong kamot
Nagpasalamat ra pod ko sa imo kay
Tungod sa imo di na ako masakitan pa kay
di gyud ko makalimot
Nga sa imo akong gugma, ako nang gihurot
Ug hatag mao nang Sa uban di na ako magmahal pa
Mao nang sa uban di na ako masakitan pa.

Love is the curse
Which poison my bones
It eats me up from inside
And makes me cry
When I'm alone

I don't understand it
Why do I always smile
The times he's here with me
Are the times I never cry

But there's nothing to do
Since I know his heart belongs to her
Her, who makes him smile
And helps him through tough  times

I know he'll never look my way,
But somewhere inside me
I tell myself that it's okay
'Cause atleast, I am a friend.

But what is love?
I ask myself
To me it's a sickness, its cure
I have yet to invent.

You said that I'm a loser
Who talks a lot about loving you without even try to approach you
Who keep silent when your past still haunting you
Who could not make you to be focused to look at me

Well, how should I put it?
It's no use to examine a specimen
When the coarse and fine focus were not rotated exactly the way it should be to look at the object

You will never see the object – nor  my venture

ingredients | serves: 1

three nights spent in a haze wrapped around each other before the fog lifted and clarity chased the glow away
five soft smiles that were lost in the limbo between want and need
two hundred and eighty four barely-there, feather-light caresses, stolen while they were asleep
two sets of heartbeats in sync with each other
one hundred and twelve sweet nothings whispered under the safety net of darkness
one song sung to you as they nursed you back to health, already stripped and chopped
four cups of air you’ve breathed into each other
seventy two fleeting moments in which you looked up at their face and you felt your stomach churn
four tablespoons of the sweat that dripped from your bodies and seeped into the sheets that first night you touched
two willing bodies
one heart

directions | preparation: 8 months

step one

gather one of the two bodies and prop it up against the wooden chair.

step two**

grab the remaining body and lean it against the doorway.

step three

don’t say anything. don’t break the spell. don’t ruin the recipe. you only have one chance at this.

step four

set the temperature to slow burn for three weeks and let it simmer.

step five

once you feel the fire in your veins hot enough to melt glass, the burning in your fingers strong enough to leave a mark, and the bubble in your throat threatening to burst, imagine yourself in a block of ice and swallow up the words that try to slip past your lips. i love you. note: do not let them out.

step six

finely crush the seventy two moments where your stomach had a mind of its own. do not let it show. you can’t afford to waste those moments.

step seven

mix in the the barely-there caresses and for each lost smile, stir for an additional week, because that’s how long you’ll be thinking of them before you even realise how much space they’ve taken up inside your mind.

step eight

pour the cups of the air you’ve shared into a blender for three nights, then mix in the sweat, and place in the fridge to chill. never let them thaw. do not hurt yourself by reminiscing.

step nine

place the heart in your hands and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until the blood spills onto the broken chopping board that is your rib cage and then throw it away. an empty heart serves no purpose.

step ten

say your prayers and hope for the best.
you wanted a love potion, didn’t you?
you’re in luck, this will only cost your soul.