I love to think about you all the time.
You and I doing things we shouldn't be.
We're such rebels in my head you know?
Always acting wild and free.

People diss us and shake their heads,
While we walk on past.
Once we get away from them all,
Oh my.
People would be scared of our passion for each other.

Sometimes you bruise me,
But not on purpose.
It's just 'cuz we're having so much fun.
Being so wild and ****.

But then,
You act like you don't remember me.
And go on forever without seeing me.

What's sad is that I wake up everyday,
Always with you on my mind.
A daydream about you.
And I'm never in your daydreams once.

Because.... well,
You don't even know I exist.

Sitting at the table with these people who claim they're my family
We're not complete right now there are people who're missing
I don't want to be near any of you so please leave me
You all have hurt me so many times in fact too many
Anxiety is real if you don't know that then you can't know me,
So stop pretending and let me carry on my plan of  not existing.

I cant be bothered cant be moved
My head has swallowed many moons
And somewhere in the black of night
I cease to be, surrender sight
So this is what it means to lose
Your mind to everything you choose
And any steadiness you had
Is in a fist of ironclad
I want to see, I want to feel
But none of this is even *real

I wish when we met that that person you pretended to be was really you..

that guy was the best.
He was so sweet full of compassion.
Very smart. Always corrected me if i said the wrong or spelled it wrong.
Always told me to take care and be safe at the end of the conversation.
He wasnt vendictive or would he be so childish as to "get you back" for something that he was wrong for in the first place.
He was a bit moody a few times but all in all he was dreamy.
He had a way that hed talk and it made me melt and id do anything he would ever ask.
I was so smitten with him.


I wanted him so bad and would have loved him forever!!!

But he is NOT REAL!!!!

He is YOU!!!!!

Broken? Yea that seems about right.
Heart broken? More or less.
How does one handle all the pain that comes with being broken?
How do you cope? How do I cope?
Everything is such a blur, nothing seems real anymore.