I don't believe in existence of soul
but there must be something inside me
with a hole growing in it

A simple note to explain doesn't seem long enough
To bring on one sheet my final feelings and thoughts

Why am I doing this and what lead me here?
It wasn't just one event and the timing wasn't near.

I'd start when I was younger but who can remember that far back?
Unfortunately I do with every panic and anxiety attack.

You'd probably start to see why by the time I finished 10th grade
But then I'd really dig deep into every mistake I've ever made

I'd go on to talk about the crushing weight of all my guilt
The guilt I'm tired of hearing that everyone has felt

"Just leave the past behind" they say and "move on to better days."
How the **** am I supposed to do that when I want to **** my brain

Therapy and medication only helped me for so long
Now I've come to realize I'm the only thing that's wrong

I'm not angry with anyone and would never put blame on you
I just can't handle my thoughts being the loudest in the room.

Small seedling planted in cultured soil of  The Chinmaya
With all morals and ethics well observed and absorbed roots
Has grown firm and strong with branches spread across the globe..
Like an evergreen umbrella tree providing shade and support
To the ones who stand under it, otherwise too.

The flowery shower of naturally pure wishes and blesses
From all branches of the giant awesome tree
Has added fragrance to my special day……
To remain as such for each day and every other day !!

By all means, I feel words at scarce  
To express my gratitude so sincere..
However,  My heart from depth expresses
Heart filled thankfulnesss…..
To all branches
Of this Mighty Evergreen Friendship tree….