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butterfly Sep 27
i want long hair and a baby.
i wear soft jumpers and let the rain fall on my face, sometimes.
i worry about being alone.
i laugh with my friends until my stomach aches.
i watch life fly by past my window.

being twenty-something means seeing yourself through fractured glass fragments of mirror:
i am 18, frail. young to the world.
i am 19, confident. unafraid.
i am 20, learning. becoming
21.

i keep each piece in a pocket of my mind,
a patchwork of a girl
with untied knots at each corner.

i often wonder how i am seen by others.
it frightens me to imagine only those thin shards of light that permeate from me
on a first glance.

but i have been 18, 19, 20,
and i have lived and cried and loved.
between my cracks and crevices emerges
a smile with wonky teeth, thick eyebrows, the birth mark on the nape of my neck.
footprints on my face of a girl who was, who is.

so i'll grow my hair.
i'll fall in love.
i'll carry a little heart in my tummy like a plum stone.

a kaleidascope perpetual
of ways i have been and ways that i am.
and i live to hope that
through kind eyes
and a soft voice
and a gentle heart
i will be seen for all that has made me,
and i will make someone as beautiful as all i have seen.
Zywa Sep 25
From now on, I am Mama
just as Mama always
will be my Mama

and as many women are
suddenly letting on that they are
But not of my child

And not with my discomforts
which they can't alleviate
with their wise prospects

I listen to my child
He teaches me baby talk
and what it means

to be Mama from now on
never just myself again
always with attention

for him, motherly love
is, throughout life, so much more
than worry and care
For Else S

Collection "The Big Secret"
Typewriter1 Sep 15
To my angel baby, your mumma misses you so much, your brother would have been so excited to meet you. So would have I.
The pain I have can never leave.
The day I found out about you I cried with over joy the excitement I had lasted a short time, my sweet baby I’m so sorry my body failed you.
I think I will ask god for the rest of my life

It’s been 3 months since I’ve lost my baby a miscarriage that silenced my voice. Something I don’t think I will ever understand. Something that has broken me in ways I didn’t know existed.
I have my days where I’m doing ok and I’m happy and days where all I want to do is cry and scream.
No screams comes out I’m just quietly crying but inside I’m a mess my mind is screaming but nothing comes out why oh why did this happen to me. I wanted that baby I would have loved that baby so so much instead I’m here grieving for the rest of my life.
I was having a good day and started crying out of nowhere, you may ask why because the 13th of every month haunts me like an unwanted plastic bag that keeps floating around and never goes away. The 13th of July is when I had my miscarriage while my world was falling apart I had to get up the next day and act like I was fine like I was ok because I still had to be a mother to my child.
But when the worlds still and everything is quiet, I feel lost
I’m wanting to search for you and I keep searching and asking myself why I wasn’t able to carry you just a precious life starting to grow inside me and suddenly you were ripped away. I lost my baby and my baby lost their life. That’s something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for.
Steve Page Sep 14
A Madeira loaf
Calmly cooling on a rack
Inviting patience
Childhood revisited
My beating heart
Ba
Dum
Ba
Dum
Was the first thing he heard
Every crumb that passed my lips
Potatoes
Chocolate
Broccoli
Was the first thing he tasted
The warmth of my arms
Soft
Protective
Encompassing
Was the first thing he felt
His teeny tiny hand
Bigger than most infants
Grabbing at my chest
Was the first time he held me
On those nights
When he misses where he came from
Lays on my breast
Hearing my heart
Ba dum
Sharing my food
Made with my blood
Wrapped in my arms
Where he'll always be safe
Even after he eats his own food
Guided by the beat of his own heart
He'll have my arms
And I'll have his
Who Knows Aug 15
Why does a lamb raise the wolf
Violent, unforgiving creature
Little lamb
Don’t go near it
Your very darling,
Will soon devour you
Unforgiving
Unforgiving creature

You see its rabid eyes
And its ****** teeth
That unforgiving beast
Save yourself.
Save yourself
Little Lamb
Save yourself

How can a wolf be your child?
Gentle, Innocent Creature
Little Wolf  
Your Heart so pure
goes out all in vain to that..
Violent,Unforgiving Creature
Unforgiving Creature

You see its loving eyes
And its curious face
That little child
Save yourself
Save yourself
Little Wolf  
Save yourself
I wrote this after an argument with my mom, who is difficult and makes me cry all the time. I love her still though.
BEEZEE Aug 9
It will not matter
whether we tend
the green stem of her care
or lose her hand in the dark.

The eternal mother moves among us—
in friends, in kin,
in any soul who shelters another.

All who hold her spirit
become one’s mother.
I will mother myself,
I will mother a friend.

Mother-Less
is Mother still.
Kano.
Your name means promise.
And tonight, under this sky,
your mother makes one.
I vow that we will live.

We will not trade our days for dust.
We will not bow to a world
that forgets the taste of rain
or the voice of the wind.

We will feel the grass between our toes,
and let the earth’s heartbeat guide our own.
We will plant food with our hands
and eat it warm from the sun.
We will drink water that remembers
its journey through stone and root.

We will wear our hair as it grows from our souls,
no mask, no shame, no weight that isn’t ours.
We will dance to music that shakes our bones,
and laugh until the stars lean in to listen.

We will love so fiercely
that no shadow can survive in its light.
Kano, I vow to raise you in truth,
that you are enough,
not because of what you earn,
but because you are.

I vow that when you look at the world,
you will see beauty first,
and when you see pain,
you will answer with kindness and courage.

And when our time here is done,
we will leave with hearts full,
hands warm from holding each other,
and the joy of knowing
we kept our vow.
We lived. We relied on each other🤍
We relied on each other. We lived.
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