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I was
made
to
conquer life
to seek new creatures
to fail and
cry

I tried to think
I'm better
off
Just laying
down
and losing

hope
amour
the jest of it

But I just couldn't


RESIST


For this
is
how I was made
to live it all

until the


FIN
I don't feel...

like me

I don't see

the light at the end

of the tunnel. I usually 

do

Now it's just 

fog
I am awake.


Blood's rushing through
My eyes
They make me whole
I was in deep, deep


Deep slumber, but

The sunlight'***** me and
I'm going home

To New York
Where beasts are made
And fantasies come bearing

gifts and utter losses, but
it's exactly why we thrive

We **** heads and shout at peace
The traffic at 45th street
hot dog stands filled with dreams
Lonely writer in her sweats

Coffee shops and yoga pants
people who live in zombie land

But, don't you worry my dear
New York
I'm awake now
Lemme hear you roar
We're running as if
there's an end to this
a point where we say goodbye

When all it is is a cycle
we'll continue to rewrite

Learn, move on, don't redo
mistakes of dear old self
or you'll be left with nothing


but your own dreadful regrets
You open your eyes at dawn
with body glued to floor
getting up takes all might
"Can I still proceed to fight?"

One tumble to the side
Maybe
I'll go to loo and wee

Then you wonder what for
Life just seems an endless bore

You tried before, you really did
To make something, make someone feel
Or maybe you just tried to make you think
"At least I'm still someone who bleeds"

The hurt, the pain, they run so deep
Bandaids, the meds, and doctors' ****
Don't and cannot make amends
to this superficial, nonsensical graze

But why do I feel it
the body crumbles, I can't stand
or think aloud
I speak to them, these faceless masks
And no one hears me shout

"Somebody, someone!"
I feel to die
If I end it here, then I guess there's that

A fin to all these hopeless heartaches
WEAK mind and heart
I couldn't care less

And then a voice, a subtle one
That kid in me tells telling signs

It said, "Accept the sadness,
Embrace it.
There's hope for light if you seek it."

That child with endless possibilities
It looked at the world with awe
It took the hands of many
and helped others be whole
It didn't demand ransom,
no expectations from life
It thought I'd got so much in me
These all need to get out

Feels like It has figured it all out,
How sad that that *was
me
Can I still see It? Can I still be free?






Yes, you see, I never left
I didn't get away
We can still rally the rounds and
paint the town red
We can scour the treasures of the land
And be pirates for a day
Because, my love, I never left
You just forgot me since that May
Don't put me in these
four corners
Labels you set on stone

You'll never really understand me
'til you pick me up
And take me home

I'm 5D in Imax
You'll need those special shades

And with it, you still won't get me
for I'm just that complex

I guess that's why there's an avenue
For a side of me you'll "know"

A little sneak peek, a preview
And that's all I'll care to show
I didn't have connections
Or neighbors in Fancy street
No extra classes in music or artistry

No relatives who helped my starving family
None of those kind of charities

There was no push, no secret
I didn't have those
But He gave me this one simple cord

All I had, from beginning of time
From when I can remember
Were words and lines

A BA KA DA
I  start to read
Then start to write, indeed

Then learned how words spoke to me
To each other, and to those who read

I never had anything in this life,
But with a paper and a pen
I will survive

For all I really had were words

A stream of them and I'll conquer the world
An ode to writers and poets
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