August brought the chilly weather
And the buds of blooming leaves
But you brought the tears to my eyes
And the knowledge that I wasn’t free

December brings snow-covered grounds
And the perfect weather for cuddling
But you brought your hands and that sadistic grin
And made it the perfect weather for smuggling

April brings the shining sun
With flowers popping up from the ground
But with you, came the gray skies
And all hope of being saved was profound

July brought the sun
And the heat with it too
But you brought the insecurities
And the feelings that I wouldn't ‘do’

July said ‘Goodbye’ and moved into August
Giving me hope anew
And with their farewells, just like the seasons,
I said goodbye too.

are you still here?
if so,
why haven't you said anything?

it's been four years
six months
and eleven days

i talk to you,
you know?
every night.

do you hear me?

January’s light is bright and sure;
Skipping, dancing, o’er river and moor.

February’s lamp is warm and yellow;
Prancing, jumping, like faeries so mellow.

March’s candles are orange and cool;
Autumn leaves drop into the pool.

April’s sun is starting to fade;
Slowly, slowly, trying to evade.

May’s moon is cold and bright;
Illuminating even the darkest night.

June’s glow is small and short;
So little present, so dearly sought.

August’s dawn is soft and thin;
But slowly growing from the dim.

September’s beacon is red and crescent;
Emerging from the darkness to be ever-present.

October’s star is hot and strong;
The days and shadows are growing long.

November’s torch is happy and loud;
Laughing and playing alongside the crowd.

December’s bulb is joyous and true;
It was lighted for me; it was lighted for you.

I miss you. Jesus Christ, I miss you. They say you’re not good for me. But if that’s true, then tell me why every time I’m in the car at night, I stare out the window and think of all the time i could have spent with you, instead of being lost in my memory. I can’t fathom the lack of feeling and the ache i get when I realize you’re no longer in my life. The truth is that if I could go back in time, I would in a heart beat, as long as that heart beat was yours and I could hear it pounding against the bones in your chest one last time. They say I can do better. But I can’t think of anything better than the feeling I got when you told me you loved me for the very first time. All it would take are three little words and I swear I’d be lost in you again. Ease your way back into my mind. You already found your way into my heart, seventeen months and fourteen days ago.