in my bones there is a rattling

inside there are flies
they lay their eggs in my hope and love and all the warm wet feelings i have
the eggs hatch, the maggots feast, the flies grow up, and then they die

"theres a rattling in my bones," i say
the doctor does not look up from his papers
"perhaps," my stomach tightens and i feel the maggots bite into me
"you just need to lose some weight?"
i thank the doctor for his time again
he does not bother to notice my jaundice
nor the stench of rotting fruit

each step sounds like jingling keys
i found fear in the sound once, and then comfort
some days i barely hear it
some days its so loud i cant hear anything else
maybe one day itll go away
or at least stay a consistent volume
until then i do not walk

"my bones," i tell the doctor.
"they're fine." he tells me
i ball my hands into shaking fists
the corpses of flies bounce around inside my knuckles
can he hear the noise?
can he hear the rattling?

in my mind i beat the doctor
his skin is split and his bones are broken
i eat the marrow
my wings vibrate behind me
i lay my eggs in his hope and love and all his warm wet feelings
and curse him to live like me

outside i smile
i thank the doctor for his time again
and i leave

I'm standing straight
But there are maggots in my marrow
And I don't know how much longer I can pretend
that my spine isn't about to break
that I'm not about to collapse
My bones are rotting away
And there are maggots in the marrow
And it's just a matter of time until I fall
And the flies spill out of my mouth

you poisoned the tree
now eat its rotting fruit
the maggots in your stomach
must eat

A man in a tailored suit
A man eating rotten fruit
One divorced three wives
Two contrasting lives

One is a lawyer
The other a beggar
I’m sure you think of the two of them,
One is a hundred times better

He’s in fine garments
The other’s worn and tattered
One’s dreams came true
The other one’s shattered

But none of that matters—why?
How ‘bout you ask us, the maggot and the fly
Because in the end —and we say this without shame
A vagrant and a lawyer in death both taste the same

cringing every time they hear my name
as if i am the one to fear.
legless, mindless, callow worms
but we are just children, waiting here
in this stinking wound for our day to
Fly.

when we are older we will grow wings
of intricate cellophane
and leave this festering place.
our six barbed legs to spread disease
were given instead of a heart or brain.

i happened upon a peculiar, bitter soul
she hated me, i knew, but the taste of her skin
was warm and chemical sweet and i
       couldn't resist her.
seven million times larger than i
she was a dangerous plaything.

i watched her cut my brothers down,
out of the air like a frenzied cat, a crazed look
flashing in eyes; she screamed
ad despite my lack of heart and pain
i am sad to think they will never again
Fly.