I am tired of missing you,
the exercise of the distance.
Like a cat,
returning to it's bowl
no more than five minutes after emptying it,
you are a temporary figure now,
that cannot claim object permanence.

That someday,
poured into a ramekin
like honey and soap,
is numbed by the relentless and
staggered steps
of the hour.

Lift your eyes up, to the horizon
where the plane flattens
into a thin line
and the future lays blue
and final.

No sight
?No speech?
Yet skins converse?
Much after our phone calls.

Brittle needles stuck in my back aflame
Charring the remnants of the scars
From another universe
Another time, forgotten
As it yields golden flowers
Does the sun shine for you?

Clamped legs in a living crevice
Through vicious mauling by serrated claws
A mirror so blue
Stained in red, a wishful death
But would it cease the pain
Does the sun shine for you?

Severed limbs in quarantine
Through static cast in ecstasy
Shift. Enter. Select.
Control. Space. Accept. Send.
Bundled a wisp of fortune
Does the sun shine for you?

A faint reminiscence of flowers
Green, Yellow, Gold, Black
Amongst piles of flayed flesh
Does the sun shine for you?
Amongst the ashes of the flowers
When does the sun set?

What remains is an empty cask
Eyes swollen, rotten sockets
Blackened teeth, a sweet relief
When does the sun set?
Does the sun shine for you?
Happiness. Two screens away.

some mornings, as I watch the sky turn back to blue,
I think about how much prettier it would be with you.
how all the love in my heart would paint the sky bluer than blue.
how your eyes would match the sky and their sparkle the sun.
your smile would be the same shade as the clouds.
I am shaken with the realization that everything in nature leads me back to you.
because the moment I think to forget you, my heart swoops me back to the smell of morning dew,
and the memory of the cool wind hits my face and it makes me imagine that's what it must be like to kiss you.

I met a boy who shined like every star I have swallowed,
Wanting of their light.
I met a boy with tropical wind in his hair and a smile like looking down from the summit of a mountain.
And something about the way he says my name makes me go so quiet
Something in how soft he looks when he smiles at me.
If I could I would spend every waking hour describing every perfection,
But I will settle for this.
Because there are two states, ten hours by car, one time zone and so many miles between us.
So I will write poetry.
I will replace all the wondering and wanting that I've kept within my ribs
With something like love
Something like devotion.
And someday when the stars align and I can hold him in my arms
I will say all this to him and more
From the top of a tower overlooking my world
And he will see just how much I mean it.

I'm in a friendship
with my computer screen.
**** everything.

Never will our hands meet
Bare skin on bare skin
Never will our lips meet
Our love formed over early morning texts and late night calls
Never will our eyes meet through anything more than a phone screen
Speaking of meeting brings disappointment
Hating every inch in between us
Jealous of all close to the other