There's a giant gaping hole in my life.
I don't know where it came from.
I don't know how to fill it.
I drink myself stupid and smoke myself to sleep.
Cigarettes fill my lungs but my heart is missing a beat.
At first I thought it was you but it isn't.
I want to text someone.
Say something! For the love of god please. Please say something
I can't find the number.
I can't find the name.
I don't know what's missing.
How can I miss something so much and have no idea what it is.
Help me. I need someone to help me.
I'm scared that I'll forever be incomplete.
Searching for the missing piece that I had.
That I didn't even know I lost.
What am I missing?
*What am I missing?

you were my world
you were my showers of confetti
my honking of bullhorns
my grand release of doves and balloons
every message, every notification from you would excite every cell in my body
my bones would turn into a gelatinous mess
leaving me vulnerable and weak
leaving me breathless to whatever you had to say

you were my favorite kind of night
unexpected phone calls from you would leave my heart racing
would leave a gigantic grin on my face
hearing your deep, echoic voice
talk about your favorite things, your passions just made me fall in love with you more
and your smile
oh God, that smile
(But that smile is for a different story...)

i knew it was a trap, that it wasn't real
i knew i shouldn't have fallen for it
but you knew exactly what to say
to make me fall in love with you

you were my blanket of reality
made of faux leather
fragrant lies and sweet drops of poison
were your main themes
one by one you feed me with your poison
one by one you bless me with your
lies
and i was falling for it

no string of words could ever express how hurt i was to find out that
it
wasn't
just
me

i was hurt
but i wasn't surprised

you, were my happiness
and i was just one of your sweet escapes

It's the simplest of words that mean a lot. But then simplicity is apart of complexity, So If I'm complex then maybe my apology would mean more.
I'm sorry.
I've been walking around for about two hours looking for a sign, something but all I found was pain, guilt and well me being ashamed of myself.
I'm sorry,
I messed up and I'm sorry.
If all the words in the world could describe who I am then I would gladly take them because right now I feel like, a *****, a *****, a ***,and mostly I feel like ****,
I'm a **** up, a hypocrite I am the worst of myself and I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you, all I wanted to do was make you smile.
Make you see the best side of this world but I ****** up... So I guess I'm just like them a pretentious **** up...
I'm really sorry. I pray to God that things will be okay.
I'm sorry.
I only want you happy, I swear to God that's all I want, even if it means my happiness at stake then for you anything.

It’s not yet time, but I can feel it coming my way
I’m regretting this already, with each aching day
It’s like this huge beast that I simply can’t defeat
Yet without it I am utterly incomplete

I can’t help feeling this way; you can’t blame me for the dark
That deep, seething rage that always leaves its mark
Just close in one the pain and let it all repeat
But without it I am utterly incomplete.

And the songs of the black whisper well into the night
Yet I revel in its presence and welcome its sight
And if this is how it ends, then its no great feat
For I know that finally I will be complete

You want to know more
about my dreams?
I had nights filled
with horrible nightmares,
flames burning my skin,
knives cutting through heart,
pit of eternal agony.
Death, screams, pain.

They are all gone.
What was the last dream I had?
I dream of you.
I dream of you
and nothing else.
It was about color of your hair,
the way your face turned red,
when you smile...

And I was there,
sitting by,
feeling the warmth
of your body,
feeling the texture
of your skin,
feeling the gentle pressure
your hand against my hand.

And I was there,
holding you,
so you will never leave again.
We can stay frozen like that,
until our dying day,
just you and me,
and the fragrance of your body.
Everlasting happiness.

But it was just a dream,
just a vision of things,
that will never be.
Just God mocking me.
This sweetness is poison,
I can't let go of it.
I need you so bad,
why did I wake up?

she was like taking a
::picture:: with a video camera;
she couldn't capture
///ever yt hi n g.///

I had a heart once.
It looked something like a locket that broke in two;

She took half,
And never gave it back

So now I love things incomplete.