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Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
I picked up a beer to numb it out.
Not to enjoy it this time.
Everything is built up and if I have enough to drink I know I can say the words I think.
Even then..

Alcohol makes my mind weaker than it already is and then I’m forced,
Forced to say what’s on my mind..
Because that’s what happens when I start off.

Then it spirals.

The worst of the worst thoughts.
Anxiety is at the max and all I can do is
Cry.

Llora por el hecho de que nunca podría tenerte aunque lo dejara a un lado.
Porque está hecho..
J Nov 2020
so. so what?
it's like every ******* time that i need you you're desperate to leave.
but god forbid i think of my own emotions once in a time of crisis.
because ****** lord knows that whatever the **** i am doesn't ******* matter
oh but you do J
you're such a beautiful person
you're so smart
i love you.
******* ******* *******.
what the ****. nah.
nah what the **** is wrong with you.
you've had it happen before.
so i ask for help, i tell you that i don't want to be here.
so you leave me on opened and then the next day you're telling me
telling me what? that you got MAD?
you got MAD at me for it? tell me where that makes sense.
you're mad because i wanted to die?
are you ******* me? I WANTED TO DIE!
I wanted to die! i wanted to die!
and you're MAD?
"it's not directed at you."
I'm ******* mad.
I'm ******* ******. I'm beyond hurt what the ****.
I'm so ******* tired of feeling alone. I'm so tired of being alone.

I'm so tired of feeling this way.
why do you keep leaving me alone
why do you keep leaving me alone.
please don't leave me alone.
please answer
why won't you ******* answer oh my god
I'm not safe.
why couldn't i have just succeeded?
i can't even **** myself right
I'm so tired of feeling like this.

i wish it was more than just some extra time to sleep in.
i wish it was forever.
i could rest forever.
i could sleep forever.
forever forever forever.
please answer the phone

it's the feelings he gave me,
i can do it
i
I CAN'T
I JUST I
just can't i just
can't.
god it
it feels so good to cry.
i don't want to stop.

this ******* *****, yknow.
the way this feels.
i just want to scream.

I'm blocking you. everywhere. you can't get me now.

alone again.
naturally.
i blocked her everywhere. i just need to be alone. i can't do this anymore.
lilac Nov 2020
yes or no
  ☐        ☐  


it's your fault my friends are worried about me,
no, it's my fault, i asked, but you answered,
the wrong answer,
not even a proper answer,
i feel so toxic, i feel ***** in a way,
i miss you, i miss us,
i want to cry again, im holding it in,
it hurts.


yes or no
☐        ☒
based on true events
the end.
Luna Wrenn Oct 2020
When was the last time you slept through the night without waking up reaching for someone?
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