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Nov 2020
so. so what?
it's like every ******* time that i need you you're desperate to leave.
but god forbid i think of my own emotions once in a time of crisis.
because ****** lord knows that whatever the **** i am doesn't ******* matter
oh but you do J
you're such a beautiful person
you're so smart
i love you.
******* ******* *******.
what the ****. nah.
nah what the **** is wrong with you.
you've had it happen before.
so i ask for help, i tell you that i don't want to be here.
so you leave me on opened and then the next day you're telling me
telling me what? that you got MAD?
you got MAD at me for it? tell me where that makes sense.
you're mad because i wanted to die?
are you ******* me? I WANTED TO DIE!
I wanted to die! i wanted to die!
and you're MAD?
"it's not directed at you."
I'm ******* mad.
I'm ******* ******. I'm beyond hurt what the ****.
I'm so ******* tired of feeling alone. I'm so tired of being alone.

I'm so tired of feeling this way.
why do you keep leaving me alone
why do you keep leaving me alone.
please don't leave me alone.
please answer
why won't you ******* answer oh my god
I'm not safe.
why couldn't i have just succeeded?
i can't even **** myself right
I'm so tired of feeling like this.

i wish it was more than just some extra time to sleep in.
i wish it was forever.
i could rest forever.
i could sleep forever.
forever forever forever.
please answer the phone

it's the feelings he gave me,
i can do it
i
I CAN'T
I JUST I
just can't i just
can't.
god it
it feels so good to cry.
i don't want to stop.

this ******* *****, yknow.
the way this feels.
i just want to scream.

I'm blocking you. everywhere. you can't get me now.

alone again.
naturally.
i blocked her everywhere. i just need to be alone. i can't do this anymore.
J
Written by
J  20/Non-binary/Between Earth and Hell
(20/Non-binary/Between Earth and Hell)   
745
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