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Nicole Alyssia Jan 2019
immersing myself
in the absence of actuality

to save itself, my mind
must be made numb

by simply running from
one dream to another

lured into temporary bliss
with each sip, relationship, drug, job

gravitating towards
triviality and banality

for most of my life,
i’ve done nothing but run

from myself
Tyler Sep 2018
I wish I had a different mind
A different personality
I am too sharp for my own good
Too intense
Everything I feel is twice the size of me
And I fight until my last breath for stability
To feel safe in an emotion
In a feeling
In a bond
But the inevitability gets to me, and I always respond
And at the first sign, I scream
Because nothing is worse than an ending that came too early
Or the aftermath of a fading dream.
Jesse stillwater Aug 2018
Marooned  land-locked
    on  island  earth

Born with an orphan’s
    unknowable ache

Born with an empath heart
– always feeling too much –
mystic receptors wide awake
    in a highly sensitive soul

It’s as if I've walked along
      forever alone,
    one step at a time,
    lost in a restless nebula
from the earth to the moon

Consciously dreaming
      to steal away, 
bearing the weight of the sky, 
upwards over the mountain,
away from these chains
         that bind

    The maelstroms echo
behind silenced, probing eyes
with an unsated thirst
      to be wanted
    dead or otherwise:

Never understanding
    the reasons why,
spinning around in my head;
where "once upon a time"
        was hidden,
        buried alive              

A lifetime spent trying
    to unlearn the things
    I wish I’d never
    sought to know,
    clinging to the love
I've touched in my life
  evermore enwombed
       in my heart

    Passing milestones:
walking another barefoot mile
passing so many locked doors
    without keyholes
– way outside the lines –

    Choking on all
    the latent words
      lay fallow, 
      left unsaid 
Always looking for
something dreamt
but seldom manifest 

Growing so tired and weary
with no one standing by my side;  
no one to lay down beside me
    to take a rest for awhile

Just another chapter
in a timeless same old story;
  another dark star
      burned – out
      – vanished –
into the utter obscurity
of a sky so close and yet
       so far away...


Jesse Stillwater ... August 22, 2018
Thank you for reading ...

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