indeed I am a smart ***
I see through the ******* and am not afraid to throw it back when it's slung my way my sarcastic nature allows me to laugh at things that might otherwise be painful it's also a helpful tool to disarm fools who try to make me believe their lies my feeling on people is based on trial and error and life experience I find that the truth is you can generally assume that for the most part most people are thinking of themselves their true motives are hidden by their words or actions when you really look and learn you then realize people manipulate each other for self gain when someone is making you feel zapped you are being used one way or another protect your temple
Needles pressing on my neck
waiting for the skin to break Needles pressing on my eyes trying to reach the soul Needles stuck into my ears this hurts more than they know It's not their fault it's not my fault it's no one's fault just breathe relax relax relax relax Needles going up my nose too much too much! The needles slowly break my blood brain barrier become my very existence i pop
in the absence of actuality to save itself, my mind must be made numb by simply running from one dream to another lured into temporary bliss with each sip, relationship, drug, job gravitating towards triviality and banality for most of my life, i’ve done nothing but run from myself
I wish I had a different mind
A different personality I am too sharp for my own good Too intense Everything I feel is twice the size of me And I fight until my last breath for stability To feel safe in an emotion In a feeling In a bond But the inevitability gets to me, and I always respond And at the first sign, I scream Because nothing is worse than an ending that came too early Or the aftermath of a fading dream.
on island earth Born with an orphan’s unknowable ache Born with an empath heart – always feeling too much – mystic receptors wide awake in a highly sensitive soul It’s as if I've walked along forever alone, one step at a time, lost in a restless nebula from the earth to the moon Consciously dreaming to steal away, bearing the weight of the sky, upwards over the mountain, away from these chains that bind The maelstroms echo behind silenced, probing eyes with an unsated thirst to be wanted dead or otherwise: Never understanding the reasons why, spinning around in my head; where "once upon a time" was hidden, buried alive A lifetime spent trying to unlearn the things I wish I’d never sought to know, clinging to the love I've touched in my life evermore enwombed in my heart Passing milestones: walking another barefoot mile passing so many locked doors without keyholes – way outside the lines – Choking on all the latent words lay fallow, left unsaid Always looking for something dreamt but seldom manifest Growing so tired and weary with no one standing by my side; no one to lay down beside me to take a rest for awhile Just another chapter in a timeless same old story; another dark star burned – out – vanished – into the utter obscurity of a sky so close and yet so far away... Jesse Stillwater ... August 22, 2018
Thank you for reading ...
Do you know that saying that goes:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" Of course you do - everyone does. Well, as far as I can tell, poets feel the opposite.
Hurt me all you want, just tell me that you love me while you're doing it.
— The End —