I am a force
To be reckoned with
But I can't help
But be pulled
By your gravity

Are you the Earth
And I, the moon?
Orbiting for eternity
Close but not quite touching
Near yet so far

Am I an asteroid?
Speeding across the galaxy
Burning brightly in your sky
And then crashing into you
My remains only a blemish
On your beautiful face

Are we twin stars?
Revolving around a common point
A dance perfected across millenia
Our audience, the planets
Our witness, the constellations

Or are you a black hole?
Devouring everything in sight
Slowly seeping away at my light
I grow weaker and weaker
Still entirely devoted
Until I am no more

Today the sky is lifeless,
the trees are barren,
and the world feels too quiet.
The sun is nowhere to be found,
no birds are singing,
even the wind is tired of blowing today.  
My body aches to be buried in a pile of blankets,
a warm place where no responsibilities can be found.  
Nothing sounds better than allowing my heavy lids fall shut,
forgetting about the long list of "to do's" sitting on my desk.  
Today, it has been extra hard to exist.

The day you left, grieving clouds filled the sky.
A fog covered all corners of our little town like the blankets that covered every inch of my body that day.
Alone in my bed, nothing but the occasional bolt of lightening to illuminate an empty room.

The only sounds were the rustling of wind from outside and the constant, pitter patter, of rain drops clashing against the roof.  
Feeling anguished, I mistakenly challenged Mother Nature.
I spoke to her,

"Who can shed the most tears?"  
"Which one of us is able to flood a river faster?"  
"Who could produce enough water to drown out all those demons that like to haunt these dreary places?"  

At first, I felt nothing could beat the soul-deep aching within my chest.
Waterfalls poured from my eyes like the lies that once poured from your mouth.
Thunder raged on in my mind, my thoughts alone could have set a forest aflame.

Though as time passed, my tears slowly began to run out.
My tortured body felt too drained to produce anymore thoughts.  
My eye lids suddenly felt the weight of lead.  
Being pulled into a state of unconsciousness, I managed a few last words.

"You win."

I know it feels like your presence causes pain to the people
             around you
2. I know you truly believe that the world would be better
             without you
3. I know it’s petrifying to be alive when you thought you
             would be dead
4. I know the shame
5. I know the scars no one will ever see are much worse than
             the ones they will
6. I know the feeling will never really go away
7. I know you don’t want people to know because it will hurt
            them
8. I know people don’t get it
9. I know it ***** not having hope
10. I know it seems like it can never get better

There is no hope here
Only pain will be found
Suffering is abundant
Every mere smile matched by
A devastating heartbreak
Sorrow surrounds us all
Taking up residence in our souls

There is no hope here
We are all dying
Screaming in agony
For all we’ve lost
For everything we’ve destroyed
Our world is irreparably broken
And it’s all our fault

There is no hope here
We court demons
Craving our own demise
All with a smile on our faces
Because life is good
Our day was fine
Everything is going well

There is no hope here
You won’t find it
Hope doesn’t come from this place
All we have to cling to
Are the promises of the One
Who does not reside here
Who reaches down to save us

There is no hope here
But, we were not left in this place
To writhe in the agony of life
We don’t have to
We choose to ignore and refuse
The only real hope we are offered
And instead return to the world.