I have been told that I am stupid, in love.
I don't know if I'm stupid, or simply in love.
Either way, I have no clue what I am doing,
But when others try to advise me what to do it goes in one ear and out the other, like things do when your parents lecture you,
Because in all honesty, I don't want to hear it.
I understand, yes, you love me, watching me break down isn't fun, watching my sanity slowly ebb away like the light of the sun in the evening is not easy,
But I need you to understand, I am in love, and love makes us do stupid things, but I am not stupid for loving who I do.
Because this love is true, and something I will be holding onto.
Mistakes may be made, and yes, they might play themselves on repeat,
And yes, forgiving them over and over is a feat, but I need you to listen to me.
I have never loved this much, I had always been either sad or numb,
And he is the one who changed that, he's the one who didn't make me feel fat, for once, he's the one who accepts my flaws and holds on when I am afraid and try to run away, he is the one who loves me back, and I am not willing to loose that.
So if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all
Because I will be holding on, and I need you to respect that, or step back.

grieving over what I lost,
regretting not holding on tighter


©L.F.

there was only ever
one
she was my saving
grace

Lying on the floor
Trying to get cold
Burning on the inside
Nausea plaguing me
Head spinning
Up in the sky
Can't feel this mortal body

A single tear drops
The first drop
Signaling the rainstorm

Trembling violently
Unable to stop myself
Slipping away

Hearing voices
The ground leaving me
I'm being lifted

In arms so strong
I am silent
Hiding in the chill of my bones
Laying still
Heart beating

Grasping tightly to a cord
Loosening
Then staying just that
Loose, yet there

Healed
Back on my feet
Wishing, halfheartedly,
That I had let go

Then again
The other half cries in relief
So glad it remained

Pulled in
Heart beating
Words mumbled
Feeling in my hands fleeting
Unsure what shall win

Then suddenly
All is gone
I find myself eased
Over time
I realize;
Someone cares

- Jay M
April 24th, 2019

the mess here now, i will allow
and you know me, i worry
could always use some pity.
its been about a month and im eating badly,
and obviously my wounds are open but dont take them seriously because i’ll be fine.
and i can see it in your eyes that you mean it, i can feel in your arms that its true and though i just heard myself say it, i know i am lying to you. missing the crease between your eyelids, where id stare at through heartfelt sentences and avoid through sad silence.
im missing your teeth when you stutter
when we smoked out on your porch
and softer talk began to soften.
and i miss how my arm would die each time it would lay beneath you, yet i got distracted by your music and i think of nothing else but art and begin to write my loneliness in poems because its like im only content with life when im with you. (3:05 pm)

Does he still love her?

She spent countless times daydreaming of them together,
Even at nights, he appears on her dreams,
Maybe it's a terrible habit to keep on holding on to their memories,
But **** was she terrified,
And oh was he madly in love... or used to.

So she asked him if he still loves her,
She closed her eyes and
My God, she was hoping...

Silent stares came and,
She  took a sharp breath and whispered,
"Spare me what you think,
and just tell me a lie".

Who was it that decided that a knot should be so painful to untie?

Sometimes, a tie is loose,
It has no purpose,
It is old,
It decays!

So why do we hang on?
Why don’t we just allow the knot to be broken when its clearly no longer functional?

Its quite sad really. How a knot becomes so weathered when two ends just can’t let go.

isn't it such a shame when we tie people to objects

it was my favorite shirt

i buried it in the back of my closet
i never wore it again
today i picked it up
it all came back

you came back

i want you to go away
but i hung you back up
along with my dignity and pride

and told myself i'd wear it one day

that day will never come