I am broken without a doubt
Something necessary not switching on
Destroyed my heart, wrecked my brain,
Now every ounce of hope is gone

I thought I had managed to fix myself
It only lasted so many days
My chest opened right back up
Organs in a state of decay

Slowly killed by chaos within
Feel lucky to have made it this far
The brink of unawareness
Healing wounds into scars

I am a survivor of heartbreak
Pretend my injuries are repaired
For no apparent reason other than
In case an observer stares

I am a little chipped, a bit bent,
Scared I'll completely shatter
Keep waiting for someone to show me
My ugly parts do not matter

That I am cracked but still magnificent
Imperfect, yet someone's first choice
Scrapes on self-esteem and knees
Will not change lungs or the sound of my voice

Mind racing my body
Palms sweaty from the exercise
Heart pounding, pulse sped up,
Suffocating fears become larger in size

The marks on my body do not make me weak
Regardless of what you may think
They are reminders of my strength on days
I stayed afloat; it was easier to sink

I've tried permanently mending
A thousand sampled antidotes
In my attempts to soothe with medication
Just keep layering on the coats

Sometimes when I am really hurting
Words held back break loose
Each falling out of my brain and landing
On paper eases years of abuse

But it is hard to explain how I truly feel
I'm drowning in a sea of grey
Numb myself, halt my fears,
You're done with efforts to make me stay

Yesterday, clouds gathered in the sky
Covering the sun,
Yesterday, I saw the ravens fly
I saw the squirrels run.

The wind stormed on the walls in rage
Her fury knew no bounds,
Violently she rattled the cage
Of the hell hounds.

She flew from tree to tree
Unsettling its leaves and flowers,
A hive that sheltered a swarm of honeybee
Fell in the pond, for the frogs to devour.

A thunderclap echoed from a distance
A prelude to what is to come,
Shattering everything in existence
Leaving everything numb.

Enveloped in darkness
The canvas was coloured grey and black,
It had an air of stillness
Yet, there was something that it lacked.

And then it started to rain
On the brown soil of the small town,
Easing the pain
That was hidden behind the smile of a clown.










Tanay Sengupta, Copyright © 2019.
All Rights Reserved.

I am tired of the dishonesty in the blue
The tiredness in the grey
The snobbishness in the green
Disinterest and false warmth of brown
Distracted hazel eyes

I want eyes like rainbows
To carry me away

I love you
I really do

So much that I have to stay away
Even if without you my world is grey

Afraid of hurting you
I don't wish to make you feel blue

I reject all food, my agony unseen
If I do eat it'll come back up green

I feel many colors but the only ones in sight
Are black and grey and white

The voices in my head
Make me only want to see red

And although I love you
It's better that we're through

Grey days are when the clouds puff a tantrum,
Smoking the sky out of its cozy, azure, play-space
With a big fuzzy blanket that covers the high plains,
And no holes for the blue to poke through.

Occasionally, they spout out their tears
And pelt the poor people below
With a loaded water pistol.

And such people sprout out umbrellas,
Or search for storm's shelter,

Yet one person always prefers to drown in clouds' melancholy.