I hated knowing the fact that she was absent.
Missing the feel of her caress.
The arms that slipped over mine as comfortable as a jacket.

It was therapeutic in a sense.
The warmth that accompanied a simple smile spread across my face.
Knowing that she was there.
It wasn't as easy as going to the store.
Constantly trying on jackets looking for the right fit,
Paying no never mind to the tags that read different sizes.

The 2x's. 1x's. Sometimes disused as the wrong size.
No matter the store, there would never be another her.
I hated imagining the chime that would sing from under the mat when one foot hit the right spot walking into the store.
The awkward look passed from one customer to the other, the hassle of standing in line.
No, this was far from comfortable.
The ease of having what you need unexpectedly given to you, all of a sudden taken away.
The seams of her arms tailored around mine.
Snug against my back, her head as the collar laid against my neck, my chest.

What I needed was her, without her nothing felt right

She, herself was the labyrinth the minotaur protected. As through her heart lead a passage to heaven

In my mind we were but two halves.
Seeking nothing but the comfort of each other.
Without need for clothes we wore each other In the tightest embrace.
The simplest of things shared between us two.
No matter how much we tossed backward and forward
we remained together.
Discerned in ultimate truth, we sat still while everything else became
turbulent.
Tilting us backward and forward not once did any of us falter.
In my mind I loved her just as much as I loved myself.
Why shouldn't we be considered a whole.
Engulfing myself in her embrace as we sat.
Wrapping my arms around her jagged edges, protecting her just as she protected me.
Legs laid across my lap.
In the morning I'd kiss her forehead and welcome her further into my arms.
Grabbing her, pulling her tighter until you couldn't tell which one of us was which.

I got on my knees, hoping that you would appear
I waited until the morning, keeping my eyes closed in solemn prayer.
Hoping to see you when I opened my eyes.
I was curious when you would appear, keeping my eyes closed.
Continuing to wait, my knees became sore.
Still I knelt on my knees knowing pain.
Would your love ever take over.
Continuing to wait I opened my eyes at the crack of dawn.
Rising from my knees when I saw nothing but disappointment.

Now that I am high, I don't ever plan on coming down.
From what I am told highs don't last forever.
If this feeling ever fades I don't know what I'll do.
I couldn't begin to imagine another night of sobriety.
A night spent away from what I've come to know as normal.
Something done randomly, something that's become habit.
Given time.
I don't think I could go back to the way I once was.
Something held close. Revealing the fact that nothing is as perfect as we could imagine it.
The moments I feel myself floating with closed eyes.
Picturing myself falling in love.
Now that I am high I feel that I am free-falling.
Finally jumping from the ledge I've known for so long.
A sudden pause from anything momentary.
The everlasting effect of something I've never felt. Being high.
Most highs don't last forever from what I've been told.
Always chasing something to compensate what was once felt.
My first reaction was to jump from the ledge of the couch and hit the floor face first.
Which was what I did. Not entirely my plan but it worked.
Choosing to stay here and seek nothing outside of what I already felt.
Leaving my sobriety anywhere but here.
A kind of reserve stashed away for safe keeping.
Not in the sense of smoking or anything that could be ingested
I suppose I took a piece of your heart and hid it where only I could find it.
But only when I jump from the ledge of the couch and end up face first on the floor.
Somewhere I know you can't find it.
I guess this high could be considered love.
A funny thing, love.
Four simple letters that could create so much devastation,
or bliss.
Love a whirlwind of emotion that takes everything then tosses it up without care how it lands.
A crazy thing, being sober in the midst of love.
Four simple letters packaged and distributed as something sweet, delicious.
Most commonly referred to as munchies.
Devouring everything in sight.
A buffet of need wrapped airtight in urgency.
Next time I sit on the floor I think I'll invite you.
But only for another piece of your heart.
Verballing from the ledge of the couch.
Only to land face first on the floor once again.
Love such a crazy thing

Each morning she welcomes me into her world.
The best part about it.
I am always glad I came, watching her pat her hand on a reserved spot inviting me to sit beside her.
A motivation for tired legs,
Our eyes resting after a light jog, over by the park bench.
Slowly watching our faith in each other raise from behind the clouds.
In due time I am drenched in the way that she makes me feel.
Even when we go our separate ways she is always there

I deliberately stained my lips with the edible arrangement of her heart,
Savoring the hint of love

Each morning she grants me the unique privilege of providing a smile on her face
I know quite a bit about the simple things.
To watch her walk in and delight herself with the croissant of open lips
A splash or two of milk painting her smile.
I just might have to bring her breakfast one day
Just to return the favor

There is a sense of forever that's hidden in your eyes.
A sense that no matter how much time will pass.
A promise that no matter how random the thought.
That somehow, you will always be there.
That same funny laugh, that devious smirk that lets me know
that your about to do something silly.
No matter how much time shall pass.
It will always be there to take my mind off of what ever is going on.

In the midst of conversation A question rose out of the blue,
What would I do if such opportunity were to arise.
In a conversation about long term goals without hesitation or notion
Without any specifics given to her question I asked what opportunity.
She laughed slightly and repeated the question.
This time reaching inside of her chest and pulling her heart into a closer view.
She waited for reply.
I wandered around the look in her eye glancing back down at a now throbbing heart.
She said well, In a topic of long term ambition show me that I am not wrong about you.
I trust you well enough to do exactly what I know your about to do.
She stated nothing further.
With that being said I'd like to think that I made the right decision.
The openness of conversing about any and everything, the hint that actions speak louder than words.
I did what I suppose any sane man would do.
I flung myself into her chest and landed dead in the center of her heart without fear of missing.