Starving myself and subjecting myself to hunger as a way of punishing myself for ruining things with you
Or maybe it was just too hard to leave my bed after i'd drowned myself in tears
Finally being able to eat a full meal without gagging, an appetite built up for years
Feels good to be putting the pieces back together
I'm not whole again
I'll never be whole again
But at least i'm not shattered

like golden honey i sink into your eyes
the runny liquid coating the throat of my vision
its sweetness runs amok and invades my palate
and pierces my airways
rendering even breath
thick with it substance
towards the shores of your pools
i swim
but the viscous fluid forbids my movement

and we begin to thirst for water
simple and noiseless water
bitter and bland water
to solve our sweetness

i’ve asked for too much, honey

My stomach a grave of dead flesh,
     I feasted on the carcass of


             The deceased
now entombed within.

There was no burial song,
       Just the ritual shredding

Of flesh.
        

I'm now content, and the bones
     I discard as if tooth picks

Of satisfaction.

  
I'm not sorrowful,
           For my belly is full.

As I gaze at the flowers,

  forna I will never desecrate
               your beauty.

I have stretched my skin
Around an appetite I cannot quench.
A hunger to blot out the pain
With calorific gain;
Soon the life I was running from
Caught up with me,
I became consumed
By the size of my own sorrow
My unhappiness evident
By my bulging torso.

I can no longer run from the agony
I have become it.

I want to be fit,
but ****
I love
chocolate.

I want to be ripped
but ****
that donut
is so delicious.

I want to be cut
but I love the
pizza hut.

I want to be ****
but the Chinese
buffet just gets me.

I want to be healthy
and if it wasn’t for
junk food
I would be.

I got the gym **** down
it is the food that hurts me.

This poem brings a surprise,
Once I came home with bits of pies
In my hair, kids did what they dare,
Food fights all over everywhere,
All part of sacramental life,
Church celebrations full of strife,
No, I am not kidding,
In cream puffs we were skidding,
This Dracula  finally left the scene,
You try teaching all those tweens!

My mom taught me to clean the beans
            seemingly hundreds all on the counter,
            a delicious rain
               as they fall.
Find the "Bad" ones
                              the rocks,
                              the ugly,
I am power,
       I decide,
           just for awhile.
Cleaning beans meant
                   my mom would make
                                   my favorites
   stuffed sopapillas,
                      tostadas,
the timeless and classic bean and cheese burrito.
The beans take all **** day to cook...
                                      they taught me
                                                    Patience.

Satiety admonishes me that I have reached the ultimate stage of deglutition, consistent with dietetic integrity and any more would be an overwhelming superfluity.