the haunting"

standing out here
in this silent night
a glare of the star gleams
to my silhoutte
like magnetic sparks on
an electric circuit
and i dream how we used to be

a sound of your voice
with that crooked smile
reappear in my taughts
like i'm being hypnotised

and i hear you calling my name
with gentle and sappy lips

i miss the aroma of your
pleasant fragrance
that smells like spring roses
of kabuye

i dream nestled in your hands
on that curly lines sliding me side to side

i miss your softest skin
with tiny pores
brilliant like wedding flowers

i hate the day you left,
a shadow that brought me sorrow
one of the things i regret
but it lavitates in my veins

you are my confinement
i want to break the rules
and beg for one more chance

there is no chance to stop
the immersing you,
because i've failed to defeat the haunting you.

You should know,
that I no longer follow my compass.
Where the wind pushes,
I lead with squinted eyes.
The horizon is far,
cradled with opportunity.

I’ve taken the step for once,
without you and your map.
I’ve held my hand out,
gave you coordinates.
Yet, you hesitate.

You should know,
I’ve tried.
We no longer scramble,
the sharp edges of “what if?”.
Instead, the question is,
“what now?”

How did it come to this?
I thought with the sun.
Tying the string,
on brush and broken branches.
Will you follow?
The hints, arrows, and signs.

Our maps are different,
one south and one north.
Still, I tried,
circling landmarks left and right.
You will not go north,
but south.
We depart in full gate,
away from our point.
Alone.

You should know,
its time to say goodbye.

I love you.

When the darkness closes in
And I feel entrapped by sin
May I hold fast the sight
Of God's unfailing, guiding light
If its brilliance becomes obscure
Of its presence I'm always sure
So towards that glimmer I will crawl
Afraid to walk or I might fall
Until, at last, my eyes will see
His grace, the door that sets me free

I have spent eternity searching for the red string that ties us
Finger to finger,
Atom to atom.
Deeper than Mariana's trench
Higher than the atmosphere

Our love was something they told stories of
Too young to understand what heartbreak could ever be.
Made songs about the yearning we felt for one another
It was a fairytale.
A bedtime story.

My dad used to tell me
About dinosaurs and fables and kingdoms
All stuff that I left once I fell asleep
but
I still don't know if I dreamt our fate up
if we ever existed;
in the same vicinity ,
in the same lifetime,
in the same time frame.

Did i imagine the affection you reciprocated?
Or was what my father taught me true?
Getting too close would have it's consequences
He, the sun
I, foolish Icarus
Plunging head first into the sea
no lifeboat in sight.

I guess I’ll follow you
I guess your way’s what’s true now
I guess this means goodbye
To my old life
Shades of grey swallow me
Every single day
Please show me how
To make sure
That I can be ok