what has happened to your hand, its touch has gone so cold – you
don’t hold me as you did before; that first time we fell in love, we
could spend hours of the night tangled to each other. I wasn’t as
pretty as the other girls, still when you held me, you felt a sense of power - an ownership. you never demanded much from me; you understood how shy I got at the beginning – yet that never stopped you from acting so possessive

even in the times I knew you cheated on me – going after those with much smoother skin, and who held that bolder strike; I knew that you’d never forget me – I was your first after all. I gave you the belief in your dreams, gave you confidence to show off your talents, helped you through your struggles, gave you a meaningful way to express your problems. darling I was your unshakable addiction, the mistress who added value to your diction, darling I was with you when you wrote your very first poem


what has happened to your hand, its touch has gone so cold – I hope
you found the right girl, still I’ll love you forever even when you get a
touch of every one of them in their words.





“And I too will love you forever, my first love…
my write, my words, forever my first poem that
came from you… my Eversharp pen."

When our paths first crossed,
I thought you disdained me,
As every day, greetings flew,
You remained quiet,
No salutation to me.

Status changed, now we’re classmate,
sitting in the same class,
learning the same things,
when voices roam,
there’s one stay quiet to me,
after a while, that one spokes to me,
that one is you, and
I caught a glimpse of kindness in your eyes.

Weeks into months, we've grown close,
Like kindred spirits bound by trust,
You confessed my presence lights your day,
Even mimicking my gentle curve in writing,
A tender touch to my heart, sweet soul.

Now the sands of time are flowing,
just a few months left to go,
we should’ve been closer earlier,
a thorn in my heart, this feeling of -
regret.

Shellshock and butterflies
The drop of my heart when i see your eyes
The shake in my bones when i hear your laugh
Shellshock and butterflies
Never thought I'd say
Love at first sight

I bearly know your name
But can describe the colour of your eyes
Dark oak and honey bees
A labyrinth full of trees
I want to never find my way out
I run in circles, i never even try
I look and look but can't seem to find my mind

The sunlight, it shines in your eyes
But it doesn't hurt, the light
It's a cure for my starved sight

In the end you're just a stranger on the streets
You won't remember me
While i'll still be captured in a dream
I'd be lost in forstes of brown
And leaves falling down
A autumn wave of love carrying a sour note

What a view, know i miss it
You don't know me by my name
You won't remember my laugh or my eyes
But you're the muse
To my long lived love life

I'll admire you till im sick
Of watching you live in a bliss
Long after your memories turn to dust
Of me trying my very best to make you laugh

I want to know your worst secrets
What you dream of at night
The deepes dark of your mind
And the way your soul still shines
The way you act around your friends
Passionate discussions and soft embraces
Sober laughs and drunken talks

I want to know when you look in the mirror
and hate the sight
Caus baby i want you to be mine

Shellshok and butterflies
I meet your eyes i know you knew
I was caught in your air
I got addicted of your name
You won't remember me
But that's fine

As long as you let me use
your beauty as a muse
Emotions hidden in longlost words
And never said out loud thoughts
You live in my mind
Don't mind me borroring your time
In my imaginary land you'd notice me the same
You'd still think about the way
I left without saying goodby

Maybe one day we'll meet again
And you'll recognise the way my eyes brighten
The way my checks reden
When you talk and laugh
When you take my air and be yourself
Even though i don't know enough
And you couldn't be bother to learn
I still hope
One day we'll meet and when the sun catches you right
I'Il get to take a foto burned into my mind
To never forget that night
That day that feeling
When i saw your eyes
For the very first time

And maybe thats why
After shellshock and butterflies
I still look for a stranger
Wandering the streets, living there life
All the ******* time

Jade,
do you know how much you have changed me?
You have changed me so much,
and as you start to fade away, I have this conflicting feeling of if I want to remember it or not.
I connect you with the person I was before.

Jade,
Ill remember you when you pop into my dreams.
Ill remember you when theres nothing else to think about.
through sad old songs,
through poems and letters,
through grass and flowers,
Ill always remember you as my first love.

I was the moon,
terribly in love
with you, the earth-
always chasing,
but never caught up.

My biggest fear
came to pass:
you were gone.
And with you,
a rigid, broken piece
of my heart.

I unlearned you,
every part I loved,
forcing myself to forget,
as if telling the moon
to stop revolving
around the earth
was possible.

I saw you cross the street with her.
She's so pretty.
I didn't know...
You had someone.

I don't know why,
I don't feel the need to cry.
This time around,
Maybe I'm ready to move on.

When I saw my heart stopped.
When you crossed the street.
Her doe eyes killed me,
You never looked me in mine.

Maybe I'm not so ready
To move on.
Maybe I won't cry this time
Because I've died.

I think I love you
More in my mind
Than I do
In real life .

The way you smile,
I don't know why,
But I romanticize you.
In my mind your perfectly mine.

I have a story,
A perfect script for you to follow.
Like a romcom I wrote
But that's not real.

I not a realistic person.
I want perfection.
Your not perfect.
Neither am i.

We fell in love to the words of Shakespeare
Only tragedy could not be more synonymous with his name
We fell in love as the days got longer
Only for the sun to further warm our red-stained cheeks
We fell in love during late nights, sitting in cars where our hearts raced but our lips never touched
Only passing cars whose headlights lit up our sight revealed that these fleeting moments were felt best in the dark
We fell in love while holding onto each other as the waves crashed
Only like rocks thrown back into the ocean, we let each other get pulled under the tide
We fell in love with the idea of a summer love
To never realize we were only dreaming of an everlasting summer, to which we could never have

We had gotten through two winters, and I prayed we could make it through a third
Choosing to forget our last summer was too hot
Sunburn masquerading as blush stained cheeks
A Shakespearean drought that left us loveless and resentful
The moments we shared were again fleeting
To say I never saw you would be a lie
But could you honestly tell me there was anything worth to remember
I had forgotten the push and pull of the tides
I had given all there was left of me to give, apparently never enough
You told me you long for the days I gave you butterflies
And honestly what was I supposed to say
You could never quite figure out how to keep plants alive.
And summer blooms aren’t meant to last through the winter
I regret the last time I said I love you
You were looking through me to summer long forgotten
As the October chill froze over what we had