It’s so messed up that every lover
I ever entertained,
After the hurricane of you,
Had to carry an unfair ungodly tax—
The burden of your pain.
Crashing soul-markets,
Until I fully exorcised
The sole idea of your existence.
Thank God you fully exited my body—
For It wasn’t sustainable
In any lover’s economy.

Hello my dearest boy,
do you remember when we were children,
when we played on the meadows
and our knees would get *****
all over the ground?

Do you remember when I used to go to your house
and you would change your clothes in the daylight
and I would look at you in wonderment
and thought that you were a God?

Do you remember when we used to go to church
and as the priest gave you communion
I would look at your lips
taking the host
and I thought how God had blessed you
how much God loved you
and how much I had wanted to be in God's love
being with you
kissing your cheeks
your eyes
your hands
but never your lips
because those were sacred
pure
and I was not
and I did not want to put you in your mouth
the taste of sin.

Electricity buzzes through my mind
Surging in my stomach and onto
Every cell of my body ignites by the thought
Of you and your lips on mine
As each and every word you muttered
Lingers on my racing mind

A dangerous feeling to remember
Your hand holding mine
Something so comforting yet
Juxtaposed by the nervousness of
Butterflies; their wings batting against my focus
As I cling onto your arms

Memory of each engagement leaves me
Engulfed thinking of your skin on mine
Your voice in my ear; my thoughts are
Covered with your residual trace
Yearning for a mutual exchange of
Thought unburdened by niceties

Pure enchantment of novelty and security
Mingling with the clashing of reality and fantasy
Aching for your presence, just biding my time
Until our paths finally intertwine
Interlocking puzzle pieces creating
Familiarity by your side as our ideas mingle and collide