This pain that you can not touch.
A joke,
That has no punchline
Except the punch to my gut.

A feeling, a moment I can never get back.

Half my soul gone
All my hope was taken


Gun shot to the face.

All the promises broken

I'll love you
To the moon

And back

But I wonder

How you could lose touch

And leave me

And us
To the world
To the wolves

Just need a little help
Recovering

But there
Is
No help

Tonight.

The last words we shared are still saved on my phone
We were miles apart, far from the eyes but close at heart
But now we are in a different time zone

I’m lost in the night and you’re bathing in sunlight
I can hear your breath but you’re oblivious to my death

All you know is success, you don’t worry
What could be the aftermath, if you’re in the right path

And I’m ashamed of my being, I’m not my usual self but I’m trying

I blame myself but if there’s one thing that makes me angry

I’ve always been there for you and you gave up on me so easily

you were a better friend to me in a few months
then some have been to me in years
yet now when we see each other in the halls
we act like we're total strangers
the fallout was all my fault
I didn't believe I deserved a friend
"it wasn't fair you got stuck with me"
and so to make it up to you, I left
now I see how mistaken I was
to think such a foolish thing
but I'm the insecure one of us
it's my job to keep my heart in a sling

I measure the distance–
Us
Speed over time
A number close to my mouth
At the very least, to my presence
As a dim light phased across the rain-painted window,
I observe
As every spectrum hit
The teardrop on the tissue
Even each second for white noise
tabulated carefully
for this experiment
To rationalize my theory
Miles per second

A single heartbeat,
Cold and Collective
Estimated each decibel,
A sonar to the depths of my body
Hollowed by this

Enough.
My mind now numb in the witching hour
Curling my body towards sleep;
A heart left awake;

Now, holding what I knew was close
A frame to contain
These painted smiles
of now fastened teeth
Hanging dead
A breath
Shrill,
Still,
Time is Space.

The word's I want to say never come out, I see you from afar and all i want to do is shout. But I'm afraid I'll disappoint you again. im afraid i'll hurt you again, my plastic heart is already to paper thin. if I can never say anything to you again, i hope you know you will always be my friend

High on Cateye and Ghost Sight,
I stumbled through the streets
of Salida del Sol beneath
the watchful eye of Father Elijah.

The roulette spinner cobblestones
clicked as my feet dragged
past the courtyard.

Like an effigy, the homemade martini
between my fingers burned
my gin-soaked lungs.

Sweat and vermouth settled
in the circuits of my collar
as I gasped for relief.

Hologram gamblers tossed golden
casino chips in dried fountains
as they strolled past me and through
the Sierra Madre's gates.