Why is it that even if someone breaks my heart I'll take them back? You could hurt me over and over but I'll be holding the door wide open the next time, no matter how much I cry or how angry I am, I'll forgive it all for a chance at the good times. People call me strong but actually I am so weak I cannot support myself, I act so fake like nothing hurts me at all but inside I struggle to breathe as I am drowning in my own hatred, I cry and try to stop but everyone thinks it's a joke since I'm happy the rest of the time, I write down my feelings which are true in the form of poetry but everyone thinks it is just an expression so they don't worry.

That is both an advantage and disadvantage of being a writer, I could write all my deepest and most sincere thoughts, and everyone will think it's merely a beautiful poem.

Is it not?

The hardest part of being happy
Is keeping up the charade.

Behind each smile is a sore lip
Bruised with anxious bites
Each time someone looks away.

Behind each laugh is a broken sob
Muffled into silence,
Hidden and saved for a rainy day.

Behind each kind word is a crack
In an already shattered heart,
Taped together with the words
“I’m fine”.

Behind each “I love you” is a desperate cry,
Screaming “Please don’t leave me”
Until their voice is gone.

The hardest thing about being happy
Is you can only play this game
For so long.

I.....
Wear glasses,
Because weak are my eyes,
Am one of those backbenchers in classes,
Cracking jokes and breaking the ice,
Upon my lips always a,
Sweet,
Mischievous,
Caring,
Smile,
I try to be the perfect friend,
Take the blame in the end,
Play lots of sports,
Mastered games of all sorts,
Teacher's pet,
Prefer when a plan is set,
But it's all the face of a card,
That's all a façade,
In reality I'm a mess,
Always high on stress,
An emotional wreck,
Overthink every little thing,
I'm the Joker in a deck,
Unwanted and ignored,
I find joy in being lonely,
For then nobody I can trust,
And words won't hurt me,
I may look strong to see,
But inside I'm very weak,
It makes me sick,
Sadness is a pain,
But in it I feel a dark pleasurable gain,
And it kills me from inside,
It is how I am as a person,
It is my style,
My life now,
For tomorrow is another day,
Before everyone I have to dawn a smile..