It's funny you think heaven will let you in,
When all you've done is blame the sin,
Did He never say, "Love Thy Neighbor"?
I beg of you to do me one little favor.

Pull out your wholly rotten teeth,
Cut off your boot-licking tongue,
Cram your throat full with holy script,
And stitch up your quivering God-fearing lips.

Take just one swing, fellow sinner,
It'll just give me another good excuse,
With a few good kicks, I'll curb-stomp you,
Straight to Hell 'cause you burnt my fuse.

Pull out your wholly rotten teeth,
Cut off your boot-licking tongue,
Cram your throat full with holy script,
And stitch up your quivering God-fearing lips.

I don't fear your guns,
I just fear for you,
No, I don't fear your guns,
I'll count to three, we'll have some fun.

I am glad that you have a belief.
I am glad that you must always believe.
I am glad that you speak of it as guaranteed fact.
I am glad that you put this "fact" on various billboards.
I am glad that you will "live forever," one well worn past.
I am glad that you have a unique brand of faith-based words.

But you can not make me be able to "see."
But you can not make me feel I need to be "aware."
But you can not make me understand it as fact alone.
But you will not make me enjoy seeing it everywhere.
But you will not make my speech echo it's ideals.
But you can not take away my unique brand of my own.

And you can never break me, whether with "kindness" or "cruelty,"
No matter the guilt trip, I will hold on to what I want to believe.

Father, I have a confession, I admit I smoke one joint weekly,
Father I have a confession, I admit I think about having of ***,
Father I have a confession, I admit I question authority,
Father I have a confession, I admit I sometimes write improper text,
Father I have a confession, I admit to being wild at my bachelor party,
Father I have a confession, I admit to being by myself when I'm alone,
Father I have a confession, I admit I have partied hard at the fraternity,

Father I have a confession...that I confess to you things I wouldn't
Need to confess to any stranger, and I don't even know you like this
At all, and how do I know FOR SURE that this is all confidential?

Right...I get it...YOU JUST DO...sorry, whatever, my bad!
Still this is the creepiest confessional that I have ever had.