#ed poems on Hello Poetry

Anailen Apr 18

there is nothing poetic about the way i take up space

I hate how much space I take up

#ed #sh #sad #melancholy

C Mar 29

I wonder if I will let myself eat cake on my birthday?
I don’t want 25 to be the year that I waste away.

Every sprinkle

is a number,

every morsel

fuels my hunger.

In the mirror,
stands my executioner.

Day three of swallowing the guilt

#mentalhealth #ed #recovery

C Feb 15

Deficit

Is it my voice, or yours, that I hear
When I pick up a knife and fork and put
It straight back down because
I haven’t earned my reward?

Are they my eyes, or yours, that trick me
Into thinking I’ve gained immense amounts of weight,
Even though my clothes hang loose and
I’ve lost two inches off my waist?

*

It’s ironic,
this disease;
it eats away at me.
The malignancy consumes me.

Recovery and progress are not linear, but they are near.

#ed #mentalhealth #womanhood

Millee Jan 14

empty

Why would I eat if the lies inside me fill me up? 'Til there's nothing but half-truths trapped inside. I plead, scream, beg for someone to hear my cry but it's locked deep within me.
The pain I feel when I look in the mirror; why? Why do I hate myself?
Hate my hair,
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my smile.
I won't look anymore.
I can't bear to see who's staring back.
Shatter the mirror!
Distort the already broken image.
How much more damage could I do to myself before I'm through?
The scale wails when I approach; the fourth time in a day. When the numbers fall, I let out a sigh of relief, but when they rise…
What can I do?
What would you do if you couldn't be you?
Everyone's words are pointless. If its not the voice inside my head it doesn't matter. Nothing can satisfy my need to feel empty—to feel proud of the monster I’d become.

#anorexia #anorexic #eatingdisoder #empty #numb #ed #edo

cleo Dec 2022

lost world

we were only kids
thirteen and twelve
you'll never understand the grief you caused--
i lost myself

adrift in a world of nightmares flashing always, never ceasing
you had me on the run
from everything that i was thinking, wanting, feeling

tracking calories and body weight to regain control
spiraled into darkness with drugs and alcohol

my head is and was and always will be such a mess
i swear i screamed out NO but all you heard was Yes

~

what the **** happened to you

and, more importantly,

what happened to me?

#ptsd #trauma #assault #abuse #**** #sa #ed #drugs #alcohol

Ahlam Jan 8

happy new year

Cheers to the mirror cracked and unkind
to the hunger that pampered comfort into my mind

cheers to the days when fullness felt like sin
when the emptiness begged and I let it in

cheers to the scars on my skin
ones I wish could fade
only to return
tied to my fate

you're loved regardless of what you look like

#newyear #ed #healing

Myrrdin Dec 2024

Halved

This is the sweet spot
No sweet tooth again
Needing less from me
I'll be less than I should

#less #sweet #ed

C Nov 2024

dead weight

“But I was so much skinnier back then,
And I looked so much better”
I hear myself say.
But I was drinking three meal replacement shakes a day
And passing out after running 3k.

#love #life #womanhood #relationships #abuse #ed

Nobody Nov 2024

I miss

I miss the days
When I could just eat without thinking about it
Without counting the calories
Without shaking with guilt
Without feeling so awful that I shove my fingers down my throat just to pull it out
To remove the weight
To release the guilt and shame and food into the toilet bowl

The cold bathroom floor has become comforting.
Knowing that after kneeling down on it, my hands trembling
I'll lose weight

Haha I hate my brain i miss how it was before

#ed #eatingdisorder #unhappy #trauma #bullying #anxiety

Roy3 Oct 2024

flaws

fat,
rolls of fat,
skin,
filled with scars,
heart,
about to explode,
hurt,
i hurt,
everyone around me,
im hurt,
'cause i dont mean to,
yet i still do,
i look in the mirror,
disgust is allll i see,
fat, scars, pain,
a pile of rotted flesh,
trying to do the impossibe,
look and feel better.

#selfharm #ed #pain #selfimage #far