They said
Feelings do not matter
But facts do
What if it is fact
The way I feel
For you?

What new Hell
Have I
gotten myself into?

Her hair is fire
Her face the summer sun

Warmth to the world
But scalding to one

Her eyes are ebony
With a seldom shine

That awaken tremors in
Fragile heart of mine


On the bridge between
Fantasy and reality

My thoughts shape
Hope and sanctuary

I gaze down at
The chasm underneath

Hoping to escape
Wishful thinking


On one end
A faint shadow stands

On the other
An absurd fairyland

Edicts of silence
Echo through my spine

What am I waiting for?
Maybe her voice divine..

In Search of Truth
The path that I had chosen for the achievement of the eternal truth is giving me nothing now. It started asking me questions, tough to answer and tough to listen too.
I overlooked the mesmerized turns and went straight towards the eternal truth but it now seems like it is not the truth which I am looking for.  
I became pliable for those paths which served a lot of misrepresentations and I took them. They cause me to believe that I am close but I am getting further away.
We speak, we talk, we laugh in accordance with that they shall see us in the order but forgets the main reason's concern too.
I didn't have any idea that I shall find myself broken into the various footsteps of the way to accomplish rather I thought that I have my own way to attain the truth.
In search of myself first, I see nothing which has happened to be taken from entering into my own aspects but found it is portrayed by some others.
In the meantime, if there is a way to exit this path I shall pay for it to my extreme extents eradicating eloquent evincing enemies eternally; my own deceiving traits from my real face.
Horrendous hollows hanging horribly in this way, I can choose the other but then the truth shall also be redefined which is not the thing which I want.
So what's the thing going to happen? Let it happen? I don't want it to happen I want some other things to happen happily. But it will happen whether I do anything but yes I can make it happen for my own good sake and for my truth also.
Let the world come against me I shall fight fearlessly and cause a turbulence of revolution in the way and clear away all those fanatical footsteps and let the liberal moves of mine to fill the hollows and construe the way once again that, 'now it is the one which I expected and when all those questions shall become mere rumors of paradoxical ruins and of utmost pomposity. In that way which I believed and make the era believe shall be my way and that clears away all the barriers, In Search of Truth...'

what is this warm thing
just like a river
flowing through my cheek
streaming down my chin
why does my heart beats so fast
yet the world feels slow
my chest hurts
a lot
am I going to die?
is this my end?
is this the pain of heartbreak?

I am standing at a funeral-
alone,
drenched in dilemma.
Panic grips my mind,
fear lurks at my heart.
I'm standing as if
an old misery has frozen.
I wonder what kind
of trouble it is.
Shall i mourn for the deceased?
Or be happy,
because what died was nothing
but my fierce past.

This isn’t going to make sense
cause it’s not supposed to
and if I’m being honest
this isn’t for you
it’s not even for me

I’m stuck
I’m trapped
I’m lost
I’m every other word that describes people who feel at a dead end

I’m typing on a ****** phone
That’s connected to a ****** connection
That could possibly be a metaphor for my life

I’m writing
Because I don’t know what else to do

I’m writing
Cause that’s what they told me to do

But they also told me that what I think isn’t always true
That I’m special and I just don’t see it

But that’s the thing
I don’t see it

And if I don’t see it then why should it matter if anyone else does

And if I’m thinking something why should it matter if it’s true

What matters is that it’s in my head
What matters is that it’s always there

But here I am
Stuck in the same place
Back to square one
No progress made
The same questions, whether true or not

Will I amount to anything?
Do I really help?
Am I really worthwhile?
Do you actually care?

I see these people
When I’m online
They smile and post
They edit and pose

I can’t help but wonder

Do you really smile, or do you just do it to look happy like me?
Do you really feel happy, or are you trying to lie like me?
Do you understand what I feel?

Or is it just me?

I’m not trying to be selfish
I don’t want a lot
I just want to be happy
And I want others to be happy with me
But neither is happening

So instead there’s a poem
That doesn’t even rhyme
That makes no sense
  I’ll try harder

Criss-cross, Wandering Rocks
Scylla and Charybdis I cross.

At the crossroads where I walk,
Which path do I go, am I lost?

What is evil, what is light?
The courtier chose silk or samite?

Do our leaders know, or do we fight?
What exactly is wrong and what is right?

The Years have passed by,
In the blink of an eye,
Moments of sadness,
And joy have flown by.

People I loved,
Have come and have gone,
But the world never stopped,
And we all carried on.

Life wasn't easy,
And the struggles were there,
Filled with times that it mattered,
Times I just didn't care.

And now as I grow older,
It's become very clear,
Things I once found important,
Were not why I was here.

And how many things,
That I managed to buy,
Were never what made me,
Feel better inside.

And the worries and fears,
That plagued me each day,
In the end of it all,
Would just fade away.

But how much I reached out,
To others when needed,
Would be the true measure,
Of how I succeeded.

And how much I shared,
Of my soul and my heart,
Would ultimately be,
What set me apart.

And what's really important,
Is my opinion of me,
And whether or not,
I'm the best I can be.

And how much more kindness,
And love I can show,
Before the Lord tells me,
It's my time to go.


© Pat A. Fleming