In autumn
I try to imagine
That cooling nights
Are only Spring
Returning.

I imagine
Planting the garden
Again,
But old Frost
Reminds me
That second childhood
Is only the precursor
Of winter's death.

I am afraid to sleep tonight
While the hands hold to my mind
While the cold embraces me
While he waits to haunt my dreams
And every eye that burns my body
is Wide Open
Staring
Waiting

We all have demons
mine just so happen to have
FACES
and
LUNGS
and
HANDS.
An eye watches me
disembodied
floating a little way from my face.
I can feel something
living in my neck,
and it curls around my spine,
unsettled.
THE EYES THAT LIVE IN MY SCALP blink,
constantly blink.
it aches.
they blink together to some unknown metronome.
I try to ignore THE HANDS that grab at my head and shoulders,
gripping the sides of my head,
pressing into my temples.
My demons loom over me and BREATHE,
Cold gusts,
So cold..
I tremble in fear of the man who travels through dreams
and wonder how much HE KNOWS
and wonder if HE CAN SEE ME now
and is he GOD or DEVIL?
for now he is my DEMON
and on the back of my neck
I feel his EYES.

I don't trust you with it
I want to rip the infested pieces of you away from it
Scourge you out from every nook and cranny
Rip the oldest remnant of you from the deepest crag in it
And place you in a thick glass jar

I want to observe you from every angle and know you inside out
And only then will I know if I'd prefer to wrap you up
Or tear you down
But whichever I chose I would never, never let you out

I would keep you from it but know you both so well
Not even your mother could boast to know more
I would rend you from each other and stitch you back together
And bind you both to me that way my mind screams at me to do

But

First I must reach out and you must grasp my hand
I would love to hear all about you
If you'd open up and let me see who you are
I will accept every filthy and clean part of you
All I require is your every thought
Every breath
Every heartbeat
I ask so little of you
You ask so much of me

You ask me to be a friend in the sense
That you are not entirely unequivocally mine
I refuse
You ask me to be a confidant as though I am not aware of who needs to hear the words you will say
I refuse
You ask me to believe you because you are honest
As though I don't know who you were and are
I refuse
You ask me to care to listen to hear you and I can do all that and more but you have done nothing for me

Slit your throat for me.
Show me you truly need only me to care
Reach down into your chest and present your heart to me
Open your skull and give me your brain
Prove that you trust me enough to check its every secret
Empty out your arteries for me. Show me you trust I'll put you back together
Give me your organs and know that I'll hold you to life

I will accept then
I will listen then
I will care then
You've no clue the extent to which I love those who give me all of them
I will love until heaven and hell and earth and the universe itself wither away
Eternally
Unwaveringly
If I have all of you
You will have me.

Deep inside is still in motion,
In a safe place protected with emotion,

Hearts uphold the constant reminisce,
Reminders of the imaginary bless,
Never forgotten and secured from being dislocated,

Days count my patience, months and years surpass as well, still love one-sided !?
Unlikely me opposes and promotes undisputed, uncontested delusional sincere love feelings,

Thus the dreams and the sleepwearing lovely life
So peaceful, innocent !

Indescribable so it is,
Only dreams freaks get the feeling.
Indulging so it seems,**

Does
          Not
      It
??

Still cold water
Clear dark skies
I'm your daughter
with sorrow filled eyes

Vanish into the void of they heaven
for thou wert never, nor shalt thou ever be
yes the acme of human perfection
into the eyes of delusion you will see

we know not
we shall know
what was lost
and gain control

the dark lord wipes those tears from her eyes
we have seen pride glorified as days go by
Demons live inside me from wickedness done
...........................................

Till cold water
Clear dark skies
I'm your daughter
with sorrow filled mind

I apologize
For all the times
I wring my hands
In worry
And ask you
What I have done
Wrong, with eyes
Reddened and blurry
I seem to lack
The skill to see
The truth from these
Illusions,
Entrammled in
The mire of
My agonized
Delusions.