Bills are scheming with a lightweight check
               again.
Swear to God they must by
         best of friends.
And now I'm sitting solo on my couch
               again
with these 4 walls.
They've become parenthetic.

It's the same everywhere,
               I know.
Same for my friends.
'Cuz the loan checks that we're writing won't
          pay dividends.
We majored in Assumptions,
tossed our caps and
               then
we found new meanings
for what's copasetic.

Now it's easy...
too **** easy...
So easy...
It's too easy.

To wander these same neighborhoods
and stay in tiny, ****** apartments
when the loose ends of your 20s tangle
and you're tied to where you've always been.

And I'll never ask for
          FOR ANYONE'S HELP.
But I still can't take
          CARE OF MYSELF.
So I'll
          COOK MY DINNERS
     ON THESE BURNING BILLS
and laugh my way to the bank
so they can repossess my smile.

Days keep blurring through to nightlight gleams,
               I know
time is racing past but
      thoughts are slowed.
And I'll be sitting pretty on my couch
               alone
inside 4 walls
because habits are a home.

It's the same everywhere,
               I know.
Same for us all.
Late nights and lame jokes we're making
          push back walls.
We majored in Assumptions,
tossed our caps and
               all
we found were new ways
to be pathetic.

But it's easy...
just too easy...
So easy...
It's too easy.

To stay in soured relationships,
stay still in tiny, ****** apartments
when the low points of your paychecks dangle
while you're trying to climb as high as rent.

And we couldn't be in
          ANY WORSE HEALTH.
And we couldn't be less
          FAIR TO OURSELVES
but we'll keep on keeping
like it's copasetic

And we'll never ask for
          ANYONE'S HELP.
Though we still can't take
          CARE OF OURSELVES.
So we'll
          COOK PLATES OF CROW
          ON OUR BURNING BILLS
and laugh our way downtown
where we can reassess our smiles.

i should have never left home.
i should have never left the roof, the suffocation
and just stayed to die under blankets,
lest i die out in fresh air and spring.
i wish i could look you in the eye
and laugh with you, hold your hand,
let it sweat.
but i would have much rather died at home.
from here there are blinders on my eyes,
my windows and i measure my worth in
how many times you come over to just say *"hey",
(you lose points if you bring someone with you.)
another shadow cast in this already dark room,
i'd much rather die here, selfishly, with you pleading
for me to talk to you. then again, you never have.
i'll rather rot in this room, deluded and empty,
alive for now, but i'm waiting. i'll hold my own hand,
sweat it out, pretend it's yours.
i pretend to know what you'd kiss like, with your hands
against my cheek. i'll never know. (maybe i should leave--)
i should have never left home.
i'll relax here and wait for nothing to happen,
and for you to never kiss me at all.

I got used to a fantasy world
I knew I’d wise up one day.
Give up a dream I was making.
So tired of living in someday.
When it started I was younger
Not quite as bright as today.
Settled for crumbs of your love.
So tired of living in someday.

I tolerated each of your myths
And lived with being miserable
Hoping things would get better
Always waiting for the miracle.

I gave in so easily to the idea
That it was all about just you.
I did it all without questioning
Whatever you wanted to do.
It was dreamwork those days
All made of mirrors and smoke
And felt like the kind of high
You get from illegal tokes.

I exaggerated on your myths
And lived like an acolyte
Like your personal Cleopatra
Waiting for the snake to bite.

I told myself I would win
If I held on to you some way.
So, I gathered all my assets
And invested them in someday.
I can’t say your habit was
That you treated me like dirt.
But, I also can’t say to you
That your treatment didn’t hurt.

I am through with your myths
And living feeling so miserable.
I know things won’t get better;
I won’t ever see a miracle.
When it started I was younger
Not quite as bright as today.
Settled for crumbs of your love.
So tired of living in someday.

Normal is a delusion of grandeur.

I can't stand the way you
Straighten your shoulders and
Look down on the world from
Your invisable throne.
You've spent so much time
Looking down your nose that
You haven't realized that
You have no crown nor castle.
There is no kingdom,
Nor are there gold or gems.
You're living in a fairy tale of your own
Creation.