My head. My thoughts.
It's a bunch of you's and a bunch of me's, doing everyday things.
Sometimes you ride in the car with me to work when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Sometimes you're buying ice cream with me at Raleys, and choosing the red box movie.
Sometimes you're lying next to me, telling me about your day as your fingers twiddle with mine.
I like the times when you're with me, but I want the times where I'm with you.

I dipped my toe in the Atlantic
and wondered how long it would take to get to England on a rowboat
or to swim there outright
as if I would be so inclined in either fashion

I've seen **** and Jane through many trials
all the running, jumping, and frolicking
never really seemed book worthy
but I read on dutifully hoping they would surprise me

Eventually, I stopped reading the adventureless series
and grew into darker theories of life
that have lead me to ponder the distance
across the ocean to Neverland in ways that I couldn't actually attempt

Safe in my unathletic prestenses, yet vulnerable in my dreams
I remember the snowbirds that chased me
through childhood summers
I remember the accents and crystal blue eyes

I will remember your face... always
but I no longer remember your name

Daydreams are the only thing
that keep me happy
When i cant be with him.
One of the only lights in my dark alley
The safest area
Where i can imagine dancing with the stars
Where i can feel okay
Only other thing
that can keep me happy
When my love is not near
When he cant hold me safe
                   Daydreams are my only other light

Physically I live here
My veins weave through the house
My limbs dig into the sheets
My voice lingers through each room,
yet I barely feel my own presence

Spiritually I’m on another planet
My heart races with the stars
My soul showers in rainstorms
My eyes dance with galaxies,
but my mind wimpers for a better tomorrow

It’s a choice,
to stay in my own head,
I’ve found solace in my daydreams
discovered a world beyond mine,
but I can never stay there for too long

I get lost in the thought of another life,
because I can’t seem to come to peace with mine
I climb the tallest trees
Just to get close to the sky,
so maybe I could spread my wings and fly

You were just a dream,
I wasn’t allowed to keep,
like any unknown the odds were always 50/50.
but I knew the risk when I took that leap,

& it's not your fault nor is it mine,
it's just The Fault In Our Stars shout out to John Green,
Blame It On The Rain feeling as silly as Milli Vanilli,
feeling like everything's fake like you're only a screen,

& maybe that's why I feel so detached,
& why when you spill your heart out I don't say a thing,
you overreact & I don't even react,
because like they say life is but a dream,

though to be fair I'd say it's more of a nightmare,
because we get to see it all but can't keep a thing,
sleepwalking through this waking life,
where the loudest noises are mute & the silence screams,

& the truth is you seemed so lucid,
that I felt stupid for not being able keep you here,
& I'm not making excuses but the truth is,
I choose to lose everything including you that I hold dear,

which makes sense since you were just a dream,
that I wasn’t allowed to keep,
like any unknown the odds were always 50/50,
but I knew the risk when I took that leap...

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

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