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Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
Does she ever catch
that grin on your lips
or the glimmer in your eye
when you’re thinking of me?
I bet you draw my portrait in your sleep
Your blue rose
Your broken diamond
You never forget the lyrics
to your favorite song
See me
Breathe me
Bleed me
Don’t forget me

- Selfish
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
I wonder when I’ll stop
looking for approval
under the sand
buried like your heads
I wonder if I’ll ever live my life
in honor of me
instead of
in spite of you
I’ve splashed in these shallow lagoons
and climbed these trees a million times
but I don’t belong here
because a purpose for someone like me
is too colossal to be contained on land
So I sail away from the island you’re all sired to
and I find bliss in the places you’ll never go
I drop my anchor
where the tides are high
and the minds are open
It’s a shame you’ll never experience this beauty
because you’re too afraid of drowning

- Shallow
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
I dream in
lace & pearls
blue roses & ballet slippers
Poe & Plath
Because to properly drink a martini
you need a steady hand
and a broken mind
Don’t you know
There are certain shades of limelight
that can wreck a girl’s complexion
Certain scents
that can’t mask the desperation to held
Certain make up
that only highlights the you
you’ve tried to leave behind
Keep playing dress up little girl
everybody knows the truth
They know you’re hurt
They know you’re hungry
Eat your heart out if you’re starving for love
Keep sailing the open ocean
Keep telling yourself that you’ve changed
You’re terrified to look up to the sky
because you know the constellations
will keep calling you home
to the real you

- Dress Up
Tyler Jul 2019
At night, I get scared
The fairy lights on my walls turn dark
Leaving only a gloomy haze behind
Darkness, yes, that’s what it is
At night, I get lost
Nausea dripping down my cheeks
The trembling of my face
Fear in new ways
And the total distortion of my vision
Makes me wonder, makes me ponder
Makes me wish I had a shell
A shell to hold me down, don’t want to fall
Don’t want to call
Upon your name
But arms over legs - I fall, after all
Not to a bottom, not quite there
Although not quite here
Not sure where
But it is night
And now I’m scared.
Cole Maxwell Mar 2019
The cold wind sings its lullaby
At 3 in the morning when no one can hear.
Untold sins bring up fear, a sigh
Released in the midst of sheer
Boldness. This coldness is clear,
Shoulders held up high,
This old soul smolders, endeared,
Behold the source of the flame, revered.
His own bones deteriorating from self hatred, he owns loanable favors.
Devoted to blatant peer pressure, mere pleasure.
He's caged in like a snake
Surrounded, for days, with four sides in a tank
Clouded by judgment as menacing as sharp fangs.
He wonders what may hide beyond the glass pane,
On this side of the storm, ignorance, like thunder, bangs and
Feeble minds plunder in pain as he gasps at the crass bane.
Alas, shame musters and he cries out in pain,
Flustered.
Disdain and frustration make him lose patience and thus, his veins rupture.
His name the grave mutters in vain,
It stutters insanely.
Utter fear engraves itself in the pavement,
Nothing contains it.
Lust favors reprehensible acts and calls them sensible,
Hence his demons savor his knack for evil’s principle.


Lack of remorse caters to the whim of the artist's reactive nature,
Lately, my fate has shown its true color,
Faded, it’s black,
Signed, the Plain painter.
Trapped in his drawings, his anger strapped like a weapon,
Regret has set in, like
Fangs and claws in your skin.
He questions plain and simple
Objectives he made in civil
Constraints,

His brain he fiddles with.
Lately it's made him lose a bit.
Sanity no longer placed in a state of complacent safety.
Erased from the face of history,
He faces the greatest mystery of faith:
How to catch a butterfly when the forceful wind’s against me?
Admittingly, since the distance presented its ill intentions,
I've witnessed the birth of innocence,
In this was, too, repentance.  
Forgiveness became a gift for me not,
But remains prolific and lame as it brings me pain.
These dreams rot,
Bereft of pristine thought.
Increasing in pressure, serene gestures
Spike at extreme measures, pleasing
A sea of  people just before they reach peak level
Of unequal treatment,
Leaving myself behind, so I Hyde
To appease Jekyll's.
Bereavement embezzles delicate meaning,
Eloquence seeping from my pores,
I'll admit treason,
Bring a stiff reason as to why this ship sinks and  
Reap the benefits for a quick season then right back to being cold.

Keep seeing ghosts but startled demons
Retreat with swift, keen intensity and
Quit seeking evil things to finish me.
Since she impeded with insistence
My fealty conceded, senseless.
Real to me was lethal vengeance,
Begging me to rescind interdependence
And purport to bequeath,
the reader,
Evil menace upheaved on the likes
Of people that deceive the needs of feeble grimace,
Steep and oblong is the course
he takes when absconding with illness,
Mental resilience, a reprobate uncommon
To deal with.
Pain reveals his main appeal,
And still they describe it as brilliance.
Chains of steel retain his will
So in ways he refrains from fulfillment.
Deals he's made with the demons he keeps
Rain shame down on this villain.
He channels wakes of chaos toward
The ones who forsake his plea
And help create his prison.
Envision now a spirit free,
But tortured by his angst,
His rhythm separated him from
The music written,
And shakes him in opposition;
Breaks him of his willful mission.
He hesitates to fill his needs,
Until he feeds the greed of millions,
Putrid schemes induce increasing
Feudal dreams of resilience.
This too precedes the illness.
Entropy must be a must, intensity
Proceeds to injure me with intense
Reprieve.
A fence between the mentally demented and a sense so keen
Is all that prevents the intelligent fiend
From relevant being in this
Hellish ravine
Filled to the rim with
Malevolent creeds and devilish seeds.
Prevalent deeds of ill means
Seem to instill an immense severance,
Leaning toward eloquence became the relevance seen around this decadent theme, yet,
The elephant in the room repels the elegant dream from being met.
Soon the bells will ring in hell
And too you'll sing of mere regret.
Those who read his tale of screams
Proceed to nail his coffin shut.
He's intrigued when awful things derail and
Sews the things he reaps.
He leaps, morose, to depths below,
Beneath the hell he knows and keeps.
Retreating poses questions close,
While silent rages creep.
His Queen, he hopes, will save him, though,
She'll only know to sleep.
Her beauty meets his eyes in peace,
But haunts him endlessly.

He wonders what she feels and thinks.
Cole Maxwell Mar 2019
Heretofore I hadn't dared cross paths
With the snare of a trap near my core.
There was no wrath for the mistake I made
And the lore I gave for the way the floor gave
Beneath me entangled itself with guilt and behold: rage.
At this stage in the story I hadn't been held accountable or said I'm sorry,
And the secrets remain engraved in the stone
Hidden away in the closet with the rest of the skeletons I made.
Bone chilling truth makes its way to the surface and
I’m struggling, it’s hurts.
And I can't find the words to
Explain how the urge to implode keeps knocking on the window,
I can see the silhouette beyond the curtains.
Where do I start? Oh, the circus.
Scatterbrained, thoughts falling like ***** from the juggling act.
In fact all I need is the makeup for my clown mask,
But I can't hide it any longer,
Like a meteor falling,
The agonizing force of guilt has made its impact,
And my world is shaken with its calling.
Headlights appeared just behind the truck,
The voices calling,
I'm alright I know but what about this truck,
What have I done? I'm stalling.
Cops arrive, paramedics,  they're checking my vitals,
But they're not gonna see the words of truth
Unless I recite em.
Son, I can tell you're sober what happened?
Are you shaken? I don't doubt it.
I don't know officer it was too quick to be exact about it.
But if you go look in the woods you'll see where I threw the answer
So I wouldn't have it around me when you asked about it.
Hope you don't plan on walking any further than we're standing.
I can't afford for you to exploit me,
You got a phone that you could hand me?
I need to stall you like the truck, but without the bad luck, hope it works,
Just get in your car and let the paramedics do their work.
It's been 4 years now and I'm feeling like a **** more and more.
Everyday I'm growing towards going berserk.  
Cause I'm a ****** coward,
I can't even write this down properly,
Still leaving truths vague or not even addressing them entirely.
If you see this you know who you are,
I lied to you, cried to you, man I'm a ****** coward.
Don't look down on me when you see the truth,
I'll tell you face to face one day, just hope it ain't too late to do it.
Please don't hate me dude,
It was a mistake, I didn't mean to do it.
If I could take it all back,
Then right now I wouldn't need to do it.
~

I am
Unpoetic, for
Isolation built from self-paved
Solitude has wilted my writing's
Possibility for sweetness
And sugar-faked beauty,
But poetry is crazed
For a taste of
Vast feelings,
So here
I am-


~
All feedback is welcome
Amtul Hajra Mar 2019
Timid
And scared.
There i lie.
I can't breathe,
Nor can i tell you why.
Im gasping for oxygen,
Like there's nothing more
I could lose.
I'm feeling numb again;
Possibly for the 100th time.
I endure a rush
In my veins,
The poison
Of anxiety running through.
I lay right there,
Till i pass out;
With the help of this
Only theory:
That "It was just a dream."
A Bad Dream.
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