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Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
Sometimes you’re controlling
but that’s okay
because I know that you love me
and you will always be there
You’re the only one
that has always been there
It’s like I’m a ship
and you’re my captain
You always grab a hold of me
when the wind blows
and the seas get tremulous
you steer me away from the chaos
When life gets too hard
I know that if I sink
you’ll go down with me
Oh captain, my captain
Sail me away

- Submission
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
It must be a crush
yet I feel crushed by you
by this tidal wave of infatuation
crippled by the thought of your lips
You crush me
when you don’t look my way
metaphysically I suppose
I barely know you
I’ve mostly invented you
in my head
like a character in a fable
creating expectations
that you could never live up to
because everything is better
inside my mind

I stay up at night
wondering if you’re as lonely as me
You must be
We’re alone in our acumen
No one gets me like you
the way I see art
the way you drink to escape the hell in your head
I wonder what you’re trying to forget
With every sip
every intellectual prose
Our minds slow dance
to Sam Cooke in the moonlight

The truth is
you could be anyone
I just need someone
to think about
to obsess over
to distract me from myself
so that I don’t realize who I am
and fall back into the abyss

In my head you like
néo-noirs
Dorothy Parker
and ***** martinis
like me
We talk and talk
about decades we never lived through
romanticizing the music and fashion
neglecting the oppression
You help people all day
and slay dragons at night

Something about that cocky smirk
reminds me of him
It makes me nostalgic
of all the words left unsaid
that I can whisper to you instead

You lull me to sleep every night
with mellifluous nothings
and I sink into a slumber
and dream of your ocean blue eyes
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead

Then I wake up
and you’re not there
you never were
you’re not real
just my own imagination
playing cruel tricks on me

We would never work
I’m too grounded in my hopes for the future
to fly to the moon with you
Your glasses are too tinted with rose
to see me in the light
And I’m too cold of a person
to start a fire with you

Your face changes
from time to time
but you’re always here
radiating in perfection and fabrication
I wonder what you will look like
next time
I don’t know who you will be
but I know that you will
crush me
all over again
I think I made you up inside my head

- A Mad Girl’s Love Song
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
The people who can’t fall asleep to silence
are the people to be the most worried about
The people who are terrified
to be alone
with their own thoughts
with the voices
Where darkness knows no bounds
there’s a reason it can’t be measured
They don’t make bedtime stories or lullabies
for people like us
The monsters under our beds never go away
they just get scarier with age
Because we chase our nightmares
the way others chase dreams
Strangled by our own memories
I’m looking for gray
in patches of black and white
Blood still drips from those sunflowers
painted on my wall
when I dare to close my eyes
because I’m still the broken girl I always was
counting sheep in my ripped nightgown
torn like my innocence
Clutching onto my teddy bear
lost like my soul
Hush little baby
don’t say a word
You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s ears
with your pain
There’s nothing to distract you from you
At least we can behave like stars for awhile
For we never shut our eyes
until the sun is in the sky

- Insomnia
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
Does she ever catch
that grin on your lips
or the glimmer in your eye
when you’re thinking of me?
I bet you draw my portrait in your sleep
Your blue rose
Your broken diamond
You never forget the lyrics
to your favorite song
See me
Breathe me
Bleed me
Don’t forget me

- Selfish
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
I wonder when I’ll stop
looking for approval
under the sand
buried like your heads
I wonder if I’ll ever live my life
in honor of me
instead of
in spite of you
I’ve splashed in these shallow lagoons
and climbed these trees a million times
but I don’t belong here
because a purpose for someone like me
is too colossal to be contained on land
So I sail away from the island you’re all sired to
and I find bliss in the places you’ll never go
I drop my anchor
where the tides are high
and the minds are open
It’s a shame you’ll never experience this beauty
because you’re too afraid of drowning

- Shallow
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
I dream in
lace & pearls
blue roses & ballet slippers
Poe & Plath
Because to properly drink a martini
you need a steady hand
and a broken mind
Don’t you know
There are certain shades of limelight
that can wreck a girl’s complexion
Certain scents
that can’t mask the desperation to held
Certain make up
that only highlights the you
you’ve tried to leave behind
Keep playing dress up little girl
everybody knows the truth
They know you’re hurt
They know you’re hungry
Eat your heart out if you’re starving for love
Keep sailing the open ocean
Keep telling yourself that you’ve changed
You’re terrified to look up to the sky
because you know the constellations
will keep calling you home
to the real you

- Dress Up
Tyler Jul 2019
At night, I get scared
The fairy lights on my walls turn dark
Leaving only a gloomy haze behind
Darkness, yes, that’s what it is
At night, I get lost
Nausea dripping down my cheeks
The trembling of my face
Fear in new ways
And the total distortion of my vision
Makes me wonder, makes me ponder
Makes me wish I had a shell
A shell to hold me down, don’t want to fall
Don’t want to call
Upon your name
But arms over legs - I fall, after all
Not to a bottom, not quite there
Although not quite here
Not sure where
But it is night
And now I’m scared.
Cole Maxwell Mar 2019
The cold wind sings its lullaby
At 3 in the morning when no one can hear.
Untold sins bring up fear, a sigh
Released in the midst of sheer
Boldness. This coldness is clear,
Shoulders held up high,
This old soul smolders, endeared,
Behold the source of the flame, revered.
His own bones deteriorating from self hatred, he owns loanable favors.
Devoted to blatant peer pressure, mere pleasure.
He's caged in like a snake
Surrounded, for days, with four sides in a tank
Clouded by judgment as menacing as sharp fangs.
He wonders what may hide beyond the glass pane,
On this side of the storm, ignorance, like thunder, bangs and
Feeble minds plunder in pain as he gasps at the crass bane.
Alas, shame musters and he cries out in pain,
Flustered.
Disdain and frustration make him lose patience and thus, his veins rupture.
His name the grave mutters in vain,
It stutters insanely.
Utter fear engraves itself in the pavement,
Nothing contains it.
Lust favors reprehensible acts and calls them sensible,
Hence his demons savor his knack for evil’s principle.


Lack of remorse caters to the whim of the artist's reactive nature,
Lately, my fate has shown its true color,
Faded, it’s black,
Signed, the Plain painter.
Trapped in his drawings, his anger strapped like a weapon,
Regret has set in, like
Fangs and claws in your skin.
He questions plain and simple
Objectives he made in civil
Constraints,

His brain he fiddles with.
Lately it's made him lose a bit.
Sanity no longer placed in a state of complacent safety.
Erased from the face of history,
He faces the greatest mystery of faith:
How to catch a butterfly when the forceful wind’s against me?
Admittingly, since the distance presented its ill intentions,
I've witnessed the birth of innocence,
In this was, too, repentance.  
Forgiveness became a gift for me not,
But remains prolific and lame as it brings me pain.
These dreams rot,
Bereft of pristine thought.
Increasing in pressure, serene gestures
Spike at extreme measures, pleasing
A sea of  people just before they reach peak level
Of unequal treatment,
Leaving myself behind, so I Hyde
To appease Jekyll's.
Bereavement embezzles delicate meaning,
Eloquence seeping from my pores,
I'll admit treason,
Bring a stiff reason as to why this ship sinks and  
Reap the benefits for a quick season then right back to being cold.

Keep seeing ghosts but startled demons
Retreat with swift, keen intensity and
Quit seeking evil things to finish me.
Since she impeded with insistence
My fealty conceded, senseless.
Real to me was lethal vengeance,
Begging me to rescind interdependence
And purport to bequeath,
the reader,
Evil menace upheaved on the likes
Of people that deceive the needs of feeble grimace,
Steep and oblong is the course
he takes when absconding with illness,
Mental resilience, a reprobate uncommon
To deal with.
Pain reveals his main appeal,
And still they describe it as brilliance.
Chains of steel retain his will
So in ways he refrains from fulfillment.
Deals he's made with the demons he keeps
Rain shame down on this villain.
He channels wakes of chaos toward
The ones who forsake his plea
And help create his prison.
Envision now a spirit free,
But tortured by his angst,
His rhythm separated him from
The music written,
And shakes him in opposition;
Breaks him of his willful mission.
He hesitates to fill his needs,
Until he feeds the greed of millions,
Putrid schemes induce increasing
Feudal dreams of resilience.
This too precedes the illness.
Entropy must be a must, intensity
Proceeds to injure me with intense
Reprieve.
A fence between the mentally demented and a sense so keen
Is all that prevents the intelligent fiend
From relevant being in this
Hellish ravine
Filled to the rim with
Malevolent creeds and devilish seeds.
Prevalent deeds of ill means
Seem to instill an immense severance,
Leaning toward eloquence became the relevance seen around this decadent theme, yet,
The elephant in the room repels the elegant dream from being met.
Soon the bells will ring in hell
And too you'll sing of mere regret.
Those who read his tale of screams
Proceed to nail his coffin shut.
He's intrigued when awful things derail and
Sews the things he reaps.
He leaps, morose, to depths below,
Beneath the hell he knows and keeps.
Retreating poses questions close,
While silent rages creep.
His Queen, he hopes, will save him, though,
She'll only know to sleep.
Her beauty meets his eyes in peace,
But haunts him endlessly.

He wonders what she feels and thinks.
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