Who I was
Is not who I am,

     Quarter Moon
Beams of Where's
My Daddy tears hit
And the lonely nights
Have taken toll on me.

Where are you now
Little GIRLS?
I want to see you,
I need you,
I'm better now.

It's ok Daddy,
Echoes of the crescent
Regret arc over my soul,
And the hint of seeing
You again drives me to think
You still remember me,
You still love me,
I regret everything.

Just because I'm your father
Does not make me a good one.

Can you blame me? Yea I was in and out the bed, goin to and from men, looking for affection.

You can love another child that's not yours, give them hugs, buy them gifts, all the while treating my like ****, like I'm some kid off the streets. Or some so so child you gotta babysit?

I'm sorry for the things I've done, but this wouldn't have happened, if you hadn't did what you done.

You gave me all I wanted in the world for a minute, but then I mess up, own up, and you dismiss me like 'forget it'? Not even a third chance, you brushed me off like dirt on your pants.

You expect me to strong, but you don't answer when I call, and you get angry when someone talks to you about me, and then put me at fault, when really your the one that made the push that ultimately led to my fall.

You told me you'd always be there, that you'd love me through it all, but clearly all you care about is that woman you call your wife, she's just temporary,at anytime she could drop out your life.


But me? I'm permanent. You can take that to the bank, but daddy why I gotta ask; for me do you have so much hate?

Your disappointment in me makes me want to *****
Even Halleys father gave her a flying comet.
I can't play the sports that you did as a kid
But I was never afraid of the ball
I never once hid
Im sorry some chores were left not quite done
But trying to hurt me doesn't mean that you've won
The belt round your waist was something I feared
I remember the blood on my leg that I had once smeared
That wasn't quite common
You're lose of control
I know that deep down you do have a soul
It's ironic that I am the only one
Who knows your soft side
away from the gun
You're still my dad and I don't hold those grudges
I'm not trying to be that person who judges

she sits at her kitchen table,
skin pink and eyes
puffy
and looks at the print
of her daughter’s
missing picture on the
side of an empty,
old

milk container .
.
.

mommy,
maybe
pick yourself up ,

daddy never cried like this,

how will you tell him that
you lost yourself
in a bottle of
pills like a note
in a
bottle ,

lost at sea ::

?

Dear dad,
I'm 18 years old,
and you've been out of my life for 17 years and 42 weeks of it.
You missed out on your little girl learning, and growing, and turning into a woman.
Someone else taught me how to ride a bike,
but I don't think that you mind missing something so important.
I don't think you mind missing recitals, and concerts and shows.
I don't think you'd even recognize me if you saw me on the street.
You don't deserve the title dad,
so for as long as I can remember, I've called you ***** donor.
Because that's all you ever given me (except for daddy issues and hereditary mental illness).
You don't deserve the title dad because you never taught me how I was supposed to be treated;
so I settled for too little, and longed to be loved.
But now, I don't even call you ***** donor,
I neglect to recognize your existance in my life,
because let's face it, you were never even a possibility.
I feel bad after all these years,
because you missed out on the joy of having a daughter,
and being a father.

Big lipped Daddy
slitting yellow paper
and confetti.

Wrapped up caramel caddy
******* down to
the white bone.

You are a ice cream that has a cherry on top
You are like a cozy blanket in a house
You are like a heart in the sky that is beautiful
Combine all of them together
It makes a ice cream that is wrapped in a blanket that is in the sky that is beautiful

I love you daddy