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Lizzie Bevis Dec 2024
They see your smile, but not the miles
Of battles fought when your worries pile.
Your quiet strength, your hidden pain,
The storms you weather, time and again.

With each sunrise, you wear your mask,
Carrying on your unseen task.
Your prayers whispered into the air,
Your spirit burning with all you bare.

The world moves past, they cannot see
The warrior that you've come to be.
The tears you've shed, the doubts you've faced,
The countless times you've felt displaced.

But know this truth, I see you there,
Fighting battles that you can't share.
Your courage speaks in silent ways,
Through countless long and weary days.

So hold your head high, don’t let yourself fall,
There’s more strength in you than you recall. 
And though few know your battle's length,
I'm proud of you and your quiet strength.

©️Lizzie Bevis
Jenna Nov 2024
People call people who try to end there lives, selfish.
"You should never do that. Think about how many people
who would be affected."

Think about this though.
Kids don't off themselves so they can put others in pain.
They do it because others have put THEM through so much pain.

Don't call me selfish, because I am hurting. I would give someone my heart, I would jump in front of a moving car if you needed saving, If you need a hand, I'll be there.

So no, I'm not selfish. I am tired of picking up other people's messes and then being treated like nothing in the end.
Frank Cavalo Nov 2024
Another
Fills the cup
~To sorrow smother!~

Another
Flies the coop
~To sully another!~

If thee were to drink
Would this malady cease?
And if thee were to leave
~Would you return to me,
Please?~
~ tilde is used to indicate italics as I do not comprehend yet how to edit them in
Jill Nov 2024
Nightly whiskey flow
stains a white-walled childhood home
Parents seem blurry
Love and danger co-occur
Paroxysms of anger

In childhood there’s no room for shades of grey
It’s black or white, confusion sits unused
A place for everything and each in place
And I am in control and thus to blame
Come adulthood to show me I’m confused

So, consequences passed down like a gift
In genes and in behaviours left unchecked
To witness fights, hard falls, deep burns, and pain
The trauma transfer, second-hand ingrained
With love and anger, care and dark neglect

Then later roughly realise there was wrong
The blend of wrong and love is hard to hold
Most often see the child who fails at school
With low self-concept, guilt, hot shame, and fear
But all built strength and power left untold

Compensatory
change for homeostasis
Strong roles adopted
Scars deftly hidden
Chaos-order alchemy

I must be The Responsible One
Parentification at maximum pitch
A list-making, chore-running, stable-housemaster
A self-worth creator from jobs neatly done
All leisure-time wary and leadership-rich

I must be The Adjuster as well
Will follow directions and bounce from extremes
A dime-spinning, change-juggling, fresh puddle-jumper
Surprise and emergency make me excel
More calm at the edges than flat in-betweens

I must be The Calming Placater
Maintaining still waters whatever my price
A vigilant, change sensing, smoothing class helper
To people-please acts as a guilt-shame assuager
All pliable, social, and overly nice

Imperfect but strong
coping mechanisms forged
Power in order
Capable, dependable
Psyche shaped by survival
©2024

The role descriptions in this poem (The Responsible One, The Adjuster, The Placater) are based on an article by Claudia Black (1979), called "Children of alcoholics," published in Alcohol Research and Health (4(1):23-27).

BLT Webster’s Word of the Day challenge (paroxysm) date 22nd November 2024. Paroxysm is a formal word that refers to a sudden strong feeling or uncontrollable expression of emotion.
Lizzie Bevis Nov 2024
In the depths of despair
hope will fade,
and emptiness will follow;
But, you are not alone there.

A heartbeat within
wills you to be strong,
to find yourself
and carry on.

So, take a breath,
let it in,  
Love begins,
let it go…

©️Lizzie Bevis
If I told you that I was diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depressive disorder would you believe me?

I always try to be the positive ray sunshine, to bring a little more light into the ****** world.
We all have dark days, I empathise completely.

I write some of my poems in bed and have pyjama days because I just don't want to face the world, and that's ok…I just don't stay there. ❤️‍🩹
Lizzie Bevis Nov 2024
Each fall left its resounding mark,
etched upon her courageous soul.
A thousand times she fell,
yet, rose with gumption whole.

Rock bottom understands her well,
like an old companion who called;
But she became resilient
when internal darkness sprawled.

©️Lizzie Bevis
Lizzie Bevis Nov 2024
My mind is a tempest,  
thoughts clash and collide,  
a bluster of worries  
I can’t seem to hide.
It feels like a storm-tossed sea,  
where wild waves surge with the tide,  
bearing burdens heavy as anchors,  
as my heart sinks,
pulling me down,  
with a weight that drags me under,  
while I helplessly drown.  
I look up to the heavens,  
yearning for a tranquil sky,  
somewhere beyond this suffocating grey,  
to soothe my restless soul,  
to find a way  
to simply rest  
and call it a day.

©️Lizzie Bevis
Jill Oct 2024
Why do we carry this language of blame
Describing our keys to survival?
Subsist and survive are not really the same
The latter complexion, more skin in the game
Not best-life but rest-life deprival

How can we cope in inflexible ways
When bad comes with real consequences?
Surely attaining more subsequent days
Shows that our coping is worthy of praise
Extended, effective defences

When can we grant ourselves residency
With normal societal backing?
Without the heretical hesitancy
But carrying coping more elegantly
Set free from self-tackling attacking

       Can we retell our histories
       Including the victories
       Earned by our damaged main actor?
       Are social consistencies
       Issuing injuries
       Skipping the benefit-factor?

Behaviours may surface inexorably
No use in my current rendition
But very successful in rescuing me
And thus, I will carry them generously
Admit that I needed them desperately
       But not in my present condition
Release them with grateful permission
©2024

BLT Webster’s Word of the Day challenge (rendition) date 15th October 2024. A rendition, simply put, is the act or result of rendering something. That thing may be a performance or interpretation, a depiction, or a translation.
eve Oct 2024
i want to hug strangers on the bus. i want to cry on their shoulder, tell them

can you believe? how do i do this again?

let them stare at me in surprise and pity, marvel at how hard my life is

maybe somebody will know. they'll say

you've did it time and time over. it happened time and time again. you're still alive and you still will be

and i will be comforted

and I won't think at what cost, at what cost. why me again and again.
I'll know my strength and won't wonder why it isn't someone else's that's tested
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