Ever change?

I need a connection,
That was true. But,
Something in your inflection
Hints at misdirection,
Reeks of lies.

You don't want me, psychically
It's no longer frustration,
But more so consternation, over
What I feel I must do

With no choice

Mute, but you hate my tongue
And cringe every time you hear my voice.
Displacement, over all
You can place it on me

And if I leave,
Like you are absent,
Will you be like me?
Left, wanting.

No

And with these nomadic emotions
You'll alas realize the notion
That all along
My heart was a vagabond.
It was never meant for you
if im speaking the truth.
It was only a matter of time
Before i shattered your heart and you overused mine
Before i stepped outta line and you got drunk on wine and we both said we were fine.
So I drink some *****
Because we all know it soothes,
Just drinkin away my sorrows
And saving my problems for tomorrow,
But wait i dont drink
So i just stay up all night and let it sink.
Yeah, for your sake
I go through this heartache,
Thinking about how you dont hold my hand as tight as i hold yours
Thinking about what ive done wrong and what ive done right,
Thinkin about how i want buy so much for you so i do these hazardous chores.

You're dwindling my hopes ***..
And im pretending like im having fun
But im crying every night when i think about your skin
How you think you dont fit in
Or your pretty brown eyes
How afraid i am when you talk to guys
How im causing you so much stress
And i just wanna see you at your best.
But im just dragging you down
Yeah, im the cause of that frown
Im cause of those tears
Im adding to your fears.

Then boom, day comes and im so kind
Keeping all i want to say in mind.
Im not good enough
Im no use
Im not needed
Its my love you can refuse.
Leave me if you need to
Ill be waiting
Its okay if you make me feel blue
Its my love thats fading.

You make me feel alone
But when im around you i feel at home.
You make me cry
And for all the hard work i put into trying to make you feel better, i only get an exasperated sigh.
Im stuck with knowing im lovin' you a LOT more than you're lovin me
And Im just trying to set myself free
Trying to get my mind and heart to LEAVE ME BE.

Would it be okay if i said i was tired of pretending that im happy?
That youre the reason im feeling ******?
That im feeling so empty inside
And yet so occupied.
Would it be okay... if for once. I cried.
That i could show that side...
Without ruining your day
And having you shew my problems away.

Would that be considered selfish..?


Oh ****. i accidentally expressed myself.
Im sorry
Im sorry.
Im sorry..
Im sorry...
Yeah... Im sorry