Cool and breezy
My hands all greasy
Fixing my car, alright
Been busy since last night
A lot tired today
More work, what can I say
Worst of all this rain
Just had to pour again
I rather use my brain
Then to cause myself pain
I'll just call on a mechanic
So to fix my car without panic
All this greasy smell
Oh, **** this hell
I'll just let the experts handle
While I light a candle
Power just had to go off
And I hate this irritating cough
Am writing about my neighbor
Who was working alone, no labor
He was muttering and complaining
While talking to mechanic and explaining
Poor guy, gave me a theme to write
I wish his car gets fixed by tonight...


©sim

All dressed up
With nowhere to go
A phone full of numbers
With no one to call
Guess I should have replied
To all the messages I got sent
Instead, I shut everyone out
That when you pay the price
In behind these lonely eyes
Lies dormant emotions inside
Ready to awaken from this slumber
Oh how I wish I could rewind
Make better decision in my life

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

Late night drives
Just don't work like they used to
I need someone till fills this void
There's a hole in my soul
Looking for a spark
Looking for a jumpstart
To reenergize my heart
There's something in my mind
Trying to stay optimistic
That it'll all be okay
But there's still no sign
Of an end to all this rain
There still no cure
To this pain.

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

They say home is where the heart is
Never has a line ever been so true
That why I'm out in the darkness
Searching for you
Looking for a little light
To brighten my sky
Somehow I hold onto hope
Everything's gonna work out right
Somehow I figure
I'm gonna find you
At just the right time

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

©2017 Written By Benji James

It was and is
not easy for me
I beg don’t make it harder  

You will not understand
and I can’t make you to feel  
how it feels
when your body can’t hold your heart

How it feels
when you know in your veins
what you feel
but barricade between your body and mind
will not let you
feel your feelings  

How it feels
when the world address you  
Dude
and you afraid
the girl  you are trying hard
to coffined in your heart
will show up  

I wish I could show you
my pain filled abortive trials
to push hard  
even the tiniest bulging meat on my body
deep inside into my skeleton  

I wish I could show you
Pain of pretension
  
Pretension of walking straight
Pretension of speaking loud
Pretension of being brave
at the time of drooping in fear
that you will be identified
and termed as a queer  

I wish I could make you realize
helplessness of being a public secret
anguish of dying out of respect
and living in agony
because your body  
is not answerable to anatomy  

When you all wanna prove your identity
I am begging you
please let mine go

because
my identity
can not be identified
by the tiny part between my legs  
Please tell me  
how long I need to beg  

to find the place
where my body will not be dissected
to discover
my hearts gender
  
Please tell me
how long......?

As the sky is turning black
I check my clock
It was almost midnight- twelve
Still in my office I dwell
Table with a pile of paper
Wish I could burn in hell
I wanted to go home
But I think nobody is home
We all work
Thinking its all worth
Overtime, overtime
Then I have no right
To complain about time

Humanity argues over the most inept subjects
I'm convinced that we like to converse in circles
And try to tell ourselves we're advancing when we're still arguing over the most irrelevant things to ever grace the earth.

I have passed among the raging waters
and dealt  with all the pain
I get along with the voices that are inside of my head
and work well with the monsters that are under the bed
the weight of the whole world is held on my shoulders
and I am fine with that
as long as you know that I am not immortal
And will end up dead
I have nothing more to complain about
this is all up to you
If you want make a wish
and I will come back

Emptied bottles abandoned in a makeshift nest of expended needles
Wallpaper tearing, personified with mind-existent faces
Faces crying out, druggies are feeble
Thought *** was not dangerous, buds tweaked with laces.

Brave men and women all matching in green
Prepared for war, physically ready to fight
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you'll never know what they've seen
Comrades dying, fearful crying, killing humans alike.

Forced to mature, parents not even related
A false family filling an insatiable pit of sadness
Baa baa, black sheep. Wool tainted.
Fake relatives, real emotion and belief. God Bless.

Destiny is cruel, less than two dollars of payment
Food scarce, enforcers feirce, assembly line continuous
Fingers bleeding and bruised? Keep working. Mentally spent.
Whips on the back, the pain gratuitous.

Nice family, good car, great job, years ago
Remnants of the past, rewinding in the form of dreams
Begging for money, mainly ignored, not seen as human anymore
Sleeping on park benches, tears releasing in streams.

Two to five things go wrong and you feel the need to complain?
Yeah. Life must be tough.
Your romantic interest leaves you and you feel insane?
Problems childish when compared to others, don't you think it's enough?