I'm immobile
As my dentist blathers
On events and people
That don't matter.
I'd rather he just
Get IT done,
Leave rants and jokes
And silly puns
For one not in
His dental dungeon.
Today was his crowning glory,
When he'd finished needling me,
Before he filled my cavity,
He suggested
I see a cardiologist
To fill the hole
Found in my chest.

Id waited so long to get that text
To just hear you say it once;
To hear you apologize
For all the damage that you'd caused.
And for leaving me broken
For moving on without a pause.

Id finally gotten over you
After months of feeling empty
So why now,
When i'm finally feeling plenty,
Did you decide to cut open these scars that had just healed?
Why now,
When I needed you the least,
Did you decide to apologize
For ******* the life and love out of me like a leech?
My heart now stained with the memory of us
Like a black t-shirt stained with bleach.

Was it because you saw that I was finally moving on
And you knew that that one text
Would take me back to square one?
Or was it because you felt guilty for the ****** way you treated me;
Telling me you liked me one day
And disappearing the next.
Because you got bored of your shiny new toy,
One you once believed was the best.

I wish I could say I hated you,
But that would be a lie.
My heart aches for your sadness
And I can't stand the thought of being the reason why.  
That big “*******” I wish I could end lingers on my phone
Because what if that was the last thing I said.
It was the last straw;
A reason for your end.

Thinking about loving you again makes my head spin in ways I didn't know it could.
Because im filled with rage
But also a sadness that I never understood.

Why am I longing to tell you I miss you?
Something I've never admitted out loud.
Because I miss your smile and your laugh.
I miss the way you'd send me pictures of the weather forecast
When it was supposed to storm
Because you knew those were my favorite things.
I long for your familiar warmth.

So ******* for making me feel these things again;
For digging up the past.
******* for making me love you.
******* for being my first.
And most of all ******* for making me believe you'd be my last.

In your eyes I'm scorched under the sun
the magnifying glass widens your blue eye--

I have loved it,
and you have loved to judge,

I burn under your scrutiny
I'm insect small.

no reason
just lies
but
my heart is waiting for you
my eyes are looking for you
my dreams live you

It began as a mistake,
a sweet lie,
a sin i couldn't scape.
It began as a mistake,
as it took control of me,
like a demon
feeding the weak.
It began as a mistake,
but it was the most beautiful one,
that i ever taken.
Im seating here,
alone in my throne,
waiting to you,
to come home.

If your willing to break my heart
Then why did "we" even start