I know our relationship was wrong,
It never should have reached that point.
I thought I was smart,
But your love was some crazy hit.
I was so alone,
In such such mind numbing pain.
You were also mentally ******,
Didn’t realize our relationship was insane.
Why do I still miss you?
And think about you all the time.
When I know you shouldn’t have done this,
Knew from the start it was a crime.
Everyone calls you a sick creep,
And I really wish to believe this.
Because then it wouldn’t be so hard,
I wouldn’t be in painful abyss.
Still can’t believe I fell for it,
Allowed myself to be swept along.
You were there for a reason,
Made me believe I belong.
Made me smile through the tears,
When I was at my lowest.
You really did help,
Made me become my best.
I wouldn’t have fell for it and you,
Unless it was for a reason.
To keep me alive,
But I still have a question.
Why the hell did it have to be this way?
Why the **** did it have to be you?
Why couldn’t the person who saved me,
Be someone I can stay close to?

Our bed was colder than before,
Our window was open but
We locked the door.
We are locked together
Shut
The whether
Or not we stay inside,
You and me
I guess we’ll see.
Maybe if we tried
To go
And close our ******* window

I don’t ask for forever—
we both know how that ended.
The pages past are folded,
creased by the weight of all we couldn’t be.

But there’s something quieter I’m holding onto:
this present moment.
The way we talk like old friends
with memories between the words,
not wounds.

I know you're not part of my future—
that chapter’s closed.
But what I’m afraid of,
what keeps me up sometimes,
is that you won’t be part of my now either.

And maybe that’s selfish.
But losing love was one thing.
Losing you altogether
feels like too much.

In Time
To be understood, that’s all I needed.
To be touched, not just skin-deep but soul deep.
But I was never truly seen.

My eyes dulled hollowed.
Yours… gone.
I watched from behind invisible bars
As you kept living.

A hollow man, buried in memories.
Stuck in the past,
Convicted by what I did,
By what we were,
By your love, your promises.

And I still wonder…
Did God turn His face from me?
Did your eyes ever really care?
Was I just a stepping stone on your cruel little journey?

“I love you,” I whispered,
Heart still waiting for you to come home.
Mind frozen in time,
A relic waiting to be remembered.

They say April is a month of rebirth, a month of healing.
What a lie. April is a *****—a wolf in sheep’s clothing—giving you just enough hope that you can stop and smell the roses, only for it to unzip its outer skin, forcing a thorn to strike you in the eye.
They say death comes in threes, but they don’t tell you that April’s showers of misfortune come tenfold, never ceasing, leaving you gasping for air.
Eventually, the storm will stop, as it always does, and I’ll be there in fields of wildflowers, soaking up the sun. After all, I’m good—just a little tired.