My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

In translucent hands
he reads a scripture belonging only to him,
and from memory, he'll rebuild his own illumination.

Every time you lied your eyes changed colors.
The time you said you were fine
they were sea green.
The time you said you would be there
they were blue with little golden specks.
The time you made a promise
they were glowing emerald green.
The time you said you loved me
they were as blue as a summer sky.

Your lies had led me into believing
in you,
in hope,
in love.
When all you truly did
was feed me to the demons in your soul.

The demons laugh saying
"you fell for every lie he told,
did you not see it?
did you not catch the change in his eyes?
from sea green
to blue with little golden specks.
From glowing emerald green eyes
to the ones as blue as a summer sky."

The difference between then and now.
I can see through your lies.
I can heal my demons by beating yours.
I can be strong within and out.
You aren't holding the chains wrapped around my life.
I am.

I remember, walking the earth as a mortal,
Indulging in the mortal path, laughing, crying, loving,hate,jealousy,happiness, sadness,
I was cultivating  the Buddha arts,
In order to understand evil, you must the devil,
To understand good, you must be the angel,
Are we really born evil? Are we really born good?
What is good?
What is bad?
Is taking a life to save a life considered evil?
Why do we exist? What is our purpose?
Is it to get fame? Wealth?
What is happiness?
Is a glass half full or half empty?
How does yin and yang balance?
survival is our default setting,
And Greed is also our major flaw.
Sigh,
Mortality.

Sigh,
How long has it been?
One? Two? Or maybe 300 moons,
The change in me remains unseen,
My strength has been given a boon,
Now i am a soaring dragon,
The heavens cannot restrict me no longer,
I disdain for they are not high enough,
The earth cannot bind me,
I sneer for it is beneath me.

Time has no grasp on my soul,
No control on my mind,
I have shed the shackles of mortality,
I walk in tandem with the heavenly Dao,
For i have grasped its music, every note and stanza.
I prepare to ascend the immortal realms,
I see past all illusions, all deceptions
I see all truths, all lies
I am the Dao.

You taught me to dance in the storm
even when I couldn’t feel sunshine approaching
and in the chaos of my heart,
You calmed the waves within.
and I kept dancing wildly with You beside me.

For the truth, I've cut my ties with the collective

I find no relevance in this world

I am a mere onlooker, a silent seeker

Conforming myself to the likes of an outcast

Without any regret, however, I find support in my mind,

In a clairvoyant entity I have only surmised,

And a place I can only envision; the one in the sky

My soul belongs to something greater, but elsewhere

I intend to find my purpose, for the truth is all I need

However, as triumphant as an ultimate answer may be,

The world during the course of a search for meaning,

Is chilled and repetitive, constantly threatening sanity.

We are all allowed a small sprinkling of sincerity when brought into this world
A gift that many of us fail to see or lose once we have
This is a truth that I have been referred to by my never-ending endeavor
One I wish I had known my entire life and now will never let go
One I will forever fail to let go

When the moment is
c
  o
    o
       l
or not so cool.
Still, it's a good time
for a
p
  o
    e
      m.

In no time it can
turn it into a
b
    r        
        e      
            a    
              k
             t
           h
        r
      o
    u
  g
h
moment!