Its like somebody has stripped away the barrier that protects us from the outside world

I feel everything

and the slightest touch burns like a thousand forest fires
smoke so thick it starves the surroundings of oxygen and there is no way out

And then I feel nothing

The trees are gone
The ground tainted only with embers dancing without rhythm
Like the rotting bole at the edge of the woodland that failed to perish,
I am hollow

And yet, it was me who set this forest alight

Their she was
On the edge of the cliff
Wind whipping through her hair.
The sound of waves crashing.
She's surrounded by such beauty
Yet thoughts consume her
She can't enjoy the things she used too.
She wants to know who she is .
She wants to find that missing piece.
She wants answers.

I tend to fall into a complacent obsession
Over unhealthy attachments

That will lead to me self-harm

And carving suicidal thoughts along

The dotted lines of my veins

Just so I can portray my favorite role

Once again -
The victim

It was a bad night last night
My tear stained cheeks
and sliced up wrists
can vouch.
I never know what I'm thinking anymore...
Or why.
I just know that I am.

It's scary,
You know...
Being like this.
I get scared,
and other people get scared.
More often than not,
I can't control these thoughts...
These protruding and unwelcome thoughts
but I don't know what to do.
I never know what to do anymore.
I just know that I've had a lot of bad nights lately.
A lot of them.
But I don't know what to do.

When I met her she was covered in scars,
How could I know how deeply she’d been cut?
I’d try to empty my own reservoirs,
To heal the wounds that she had sealed shut.

I still believe none could have given more,
But sometimes it’s not how much care but how.
And when I failed it cut me to the core.
I feel my faith in love is weaker now.

For even if I loved her perfectly,
She was beyond ability to fix.
Her safety an impossibility,
She nailed herself to every crucifix.

You’ll be the one who’s broken if you stay.
You’ll never love her brokenness away.

The knife slid smooth across smoother skin,
A thrilling thing, a winning sting,
Blood bubbling up like syrupy scarlet wine.
Alarm bells felt like fireworks to celebrate the first time,

“That’s dangerous!” the brain screams, eyeing the **** aghast
“It’s exciting.” the body sings, sighing dreamily and relaxing finally,
I’ve found a way out, I think, somewhere between the two.

To bleed is not to die, but certainly it holds the key,
Perhaps someday, some night in the haze of the absence of sleep,
I’ll reach for my razor and cut so deep,
That all there will be left to do is bleed and bleed and bleed