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Abigail Jul 2019
With each passing hour I grow more cynical
More accepting of my death
And more accepting of our synthetic world
How can I preserve the sweetest part of me?
My innocence?
I cannot

I’d cross seas
I’d battle warriors
I’d climb mountains
If I knew that there was hope for me
Hope for my soul, but
There is not

So I float
Hoping the waters at least take me painlessly  
Please drown me
Please leave me numb and unmoved
I submit myself to drowning
Maybe then and only then
My soul will rest
Richard Yeans May 2019
This is too much.

Surely, I did something
To deserve things as such.

A lazy, glassy-eyed ****.
You haven't kissed me open-mouth
In well over 15 months.

The good guy routine
Well, it isn't a routine...
But I artfully mask my anger with
******* at night
And in the mornings caffeine.

I imagine
That when you look at me
I'm less man than machine.

But knowing me,
I'll continue to flog myself
For these crimes I haven't committed.
And maybe one day the gavel will fall
And I'll finally be ever-acquitted.
Peculiar Apr 2019
Thrice these emotions have appeared
In the space of three minuets

Twas' a jolly day
Until the trigger came

Three O' clock it was,
Thy facade dropped

Being consistently gay for three hours,
is too much to bear upon my damaged soul

Three tears dropped,
while the third insult made itself known in thy thoughts

However, being borderline,
three more emotions came up

hate, contempt, joy

disappointment, stress, shock

Then did the clock strike 15 Hours past 10
On time did my third mental breakdown appear
Richard Yeans Apr 2019
I hung onto the back of your belt
Just enough to keep you from going splat on the walkway
Nearly 60 feet below.
You pulled against my grip.
Was it a test?  Because I’d fail
I just might dive after you and paint my brain
In streaks all over the trail.  
No, pull it together.  I’m here to care for you.
I’ll try
To put aside
My own daydreams of suicide.

You are everything to me, I swear
You will never have to walk alone
We’ll face this world of **** together
And battle the unknown.
Richard Yeans Feb 2019
I know you hate it when I sleep
Because your anger is rarely more intense
Than when I shut my eyes
Comfortable on the couch
Wedged between the cushion and the back
Eyes heavy
Drooping
Trying desperately to stay awake for you.

I don't ever want to hear "I don't care"
Come from your mouth again.
Richard Yeans Feb 2019
You know what?
It may not feel real to you, but
It does to me.  
Lies so often that it’s uprooted my own
Sense of sensibility.  

Gentle, loving touch
I feel it deep shivers down my back
The services you render
I haven’t seen
Since I ran Allroy off the track.

Peck rapidly with your thumbs
Although you can barely read.
But here I stay, I care
I can’t explain the need.
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