My heart began to flutter,
I actually felt it beat insanely fast,
I wished my lines were smoother than butter,
And I was scared that my heart would be in a cast.

But I had to do it,
To tell her that I thought she was pretty,
So I whispered into her ears - to combat the loud edm beat -
I leaned down, hoping that my voice wasn't ******,

The pretty petite lady whispered thanks.
I was in such a haste that I forgot so say my name.
I hope she didn't think it was one of those pranks,
Upon exiting the venue, I began to ponder whether my attempt was lame.

Oh, I forgot to tell her my name!
I didn't even get her number...
The thoughts rushed in and I realised I was no longer the same :
Confidence and I were on good terms and my shyness was numbed.

There's nothing more relieving than when a girl gives you a number...

That's actually hers!

Sometimes,
I get cold as I lay in my bed -
And it hurts a lot...
Not being cold,
But the thoughts that my heart whispers to my mind.

Babe,
It's so lonely on those cold nights,
And I can't help but fantasise about wrapping my arms around your waist,
Whispering nonsensical confessions of love into your ear because my heart rate is too high, thus I can't sleep.
And resting my head on your shoulders and curling my body around yours when your warmth finally calms me down and your complaints ward off my attempts to irritate you.

Baby I wanna cuddle with you right now -
But it hurts having these thoughts,
Because you're not here
And well,
You're not mine...

So,
I'm toiling,
Everyday,
For
What again?

Love?
Changing people's lives?
Making mom and dad proud?
Raising children one day?

So,
I'm toiling everyday,
Aiming for high grades,
For what?

Mundane things...
Experiences that are not compulsory...

I'm working hard,
For what?

My heart says it's you, my love,
It says it's your arms,
And your lips,
And your body,
And your voice.

My mind says it's all for nothing
And it's stupid...

But guess what?
My heart's beating is way louder than my brains thinking.

Even the lips of this bottle remind me of yours.

He sat there and stared at her,
Not in a creepy way -
She just made him think, that's all,
Think about why the kind of love he wanted seemed to be strange...for a teenager.

You see,
Everyone his age makes it sound like you only date a girl to get blow jobs and **** her and have ***.
That's all they talk about,
And also making out and groping ***** and ***.

But to him,
Love isn't that,
Love is cuddling,
Holding your girl close and telling her she's beautiful,
Love is trying to make her laugh and turning down every compliment she gives you with, "Don't forget that I'm also very stupid."
Love is never letting her leave you without telling her you love her.
Love is taking walks and holding hands,
And whispering thoughts and kisses on the cheek.
Love is being innocent 90% of the time, but using your other head 10% of the time.
To him,
That's what love is - contradictory to the opinions of all his peers.

That girl he's staring at,
He loves her,
He doesn't imagine getting a ******* or ******* from her,
He can't - but it's not like he'd turn her down if she wanted to -
He can't imagine having *** with her,
He's too scared of pressuring her into doing it if she doesn't want to...
The kind of love that his heart beats for is the innocent kind,
The one where cute little memories are made,
Where there's less kissing and ******* and more talking and laughing and heart-to-heart's,
The kind of love he wants seems to be weird for a teenage boy,
So he stares at her,
Wondering if she would like a guy like him -
That's just him and love,
Love makes him weird...
His kind of love is weird.

*Is that the kind of love she wants?

Maybe she is your one...
    *But are you her one?

I never knew walls had a purpose,
Until I pushed you against the one in my room - closest to my bed.
I don't know why I didn't just dump your beautiful body onto the bed,
I mean, it wouldn't be the end of the world if "something else"  transpired...
But I guess I lost to my conscience and tried to avoid the sheets that were dying to witness a performance.

I pushed you against the wall,
And I was unable to regret it, because you had this look in your eye,
One that flicked a switch,
And my lust took over.
You surrendered your body,
Allowed me drown you in kisses,
You let me be rough with you,
And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be -
Blame the wall,
I've never made out against a wall before!

You didn't want me to stop,
You were totally unlike yourself,
They way you smiled when I told you that I didn't mean to do what I had done,
The way you threw your arms around my neck and whispered, "That was fun."
You were so unlike you...
But I liked this you a lot,
I liked what this me was doing.
I liked what the wall did to me,
How I instinctively pressed my two hands on both sides of your head, telling you that I wasn't gonna let you go - without uttering a word.
And I knew that our hearts were beating in sync the moment you leaned towards my face,
I knew that we were thinking alike...
I knew that you wanted me,
And you knew that I wanted you,
So we let our tongues do the confessions of love
As they waltzed within the confinement of our mouths
And our lips tickled each other's necks.

I'm so sorry that I'm a coward,
Sorry that I'm scared of telling you what's going on in my head,
(or heart)
I'm so sorry that I'm too scared to tell you that you're cute
Or tell you that I want to hold you tight so that you sleep nicely.
I'm so sorry that I'm a coward,
Holding back my feelings for you...
But I guess that's who I am,
A coward -
I hope you can see beyond my cowardice,
Is a little candle,
That burns brightly because my love for you fuels it...
And it gets warmer and brighter each time you say hi.

To you.
I'm still feeding off your love -
Even though it's a different kind of love,
A milder kind of love,
One that doesn't keep me up at night with a racing heart -
I'm still feeding off your love,
Because foolish hearts like mine never let go,
No rehab can do them good:
So I'll still love you,
No matter what you feel,
I still need you,
Even if you're not mine -
It's good enough,
'cause you're happy
And somehow making my days less ******.