I went to Space in a space shuttle,
I saw stars on my way
But little did I know,
it would drop me off in a forest.
It was beautiful and green,
It was alive and full of smiles,
The trees were huge but friendly,
Birds singing, animals all around me,
Unknown creatures were peeking behind the huge trees as if they were shy to greet me, fairies blowing me kisses. I must’ve felt those kisses because I could feel and see spots of my skin moving.
But when I woke up, I wanted it to be over.
I hated the after results,
I was tired and hungry,
I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding.
I was busy slapping bugs off of me.
I wanted to pull my hair out,
I wanted to bang my head against the wall,
Rocking back and forth in full panic mode.
I was scared and felt alone,
I needed someone sober to hold my hand or just hold me but I had no one.
I cried all night long for someone.

Eyes open onto a damp Tuesday
One dismal day out of the seven
Where clouds heavy with rain, stay
Blocking the promise of a summer heaven

I can smell the static of a brewing flash
And a false calm brings a hush to natures chatter
A boom breaks the silence, lit by a lightning clash
Storms in summer are worse, but does it matter?

Joy of chasing the rain in puddle splashes
Was a childhood game, and I still recall
Bright lightning sizzles and thunder bashes
As our laughter challenged the electric fireball

Heroic and rash, we ran with the changing wind
Years and years of foolish choices
Grown from our parents disciplined
Hand, we began to speak with our own voices

But storms can twist lives and how they change
Pulled apart onto different tracks
I saw you fall into a world dark and strange
You lived with strangers, zombie insomniacs

Laughter left your eyes, leaving them dark and hollow
I tried, I did, to show you that there was another way
But where the pack leads, you follow
You didn’t see me, had nothing to say

But like the storm, I always will look for the spark
That lighting bolt, that will bring you the strike
Of reality, so you can see a way out from the dark
And I will be here to help you back into the light

Her pleas were a song
Continuous, poignant and long
For who would hear her inaudible pleas?
Chained up in a tower, pleading for keys

The tune was a lullaby
No matter how much anyone was to try
The songbird was imprisoned by the immortal agony and revel
She’d made a deal with the devil

Not knowing of his penalties and tricks
She knew what’s done is done and blunders are difficult to fix
Though even to the most oblivious it was clear
That she was to waste the rest of her immortal life in fear

And so, as she seemed to her subjects as mighty and great
Her own verdicts, her foolishness and actions were like a hefty weight
She wore them under her own skin
Incapable to bear her own sin

Her reflection was something she could not see
For all she sought to do was to get rid of its provoking face and flee
Her soul had been sold
For everything around it, was damp and cold

The devil is not someone rational they told her
Alas she did not heed, therefore misfortune she did stir
The contract was inscribed in blood
And now she was a fearful flood

No one heard her soundless cries
And saw her endless tries
No one heard her hushed pleas
And saw her heart freeze

But her soul had been imprisoned in everlasting misery
And all she had was an aftertaste that felt bitterly
The bitterness of life
Had cut into her humanity with a knife

All she ever aspired was to find meaning
Not turn out to be demeaning
Or be the motive people sealed their doors at night

And why men carried guns with fright

She may have been the fiend of the town
With a malicious crown
But all she craved to be was an angel with wings
Though all she did was dangle from the devil’s strings

In this pleasant, drunken haze,
My senses have sharpened,
I can smell the sandalwood,
And the falling cherry blossoms.

I can hear the water falling,
Under the passage of time,
Too majestic to care or feel,
About the rot in my mind.

I can see the birds are here,
Sparrows, cranes and swallowtails,
They are here, like me as well,
To enjoy this beautiful spectacle.

My wine is almost over,
So I begin to meditate,
Over which path I will walk,
One leads to self-destruction,
The other leads in the dark.

I wonder if I could Speak from my
      Eyes
         And See from my Mouth
                 Would I have Worded any of
                        My Decisions better?

Getting the lesson

I think my heart is beginning to heal, I’m doing all that I can.
Writing and looking inside myself, realizing I might never understand.
Some people are meant to teach us lesson, however painful it may be.
It’s a part of life that happens when something is missing we fail to see.

Like a clock that isn’t working quite right,running too slow,or too fast.
Someone you think is sticking around suddenly becomes a part of your past.
Your head is spinning; your heart is left wounded, and still you have to go on.
The clock in your life just needed adjusting, with you there isn’t anything wrong.

My heart will keep beating; my mind will recover, even though it feels like a lie.
I believe and I know time heals all wounds,even though all I do is cry.
If I get some meaning, or value, I know I will walk away stronger.
The beliefs that I had, and things I held close, are standards I now have to ponder.
They say if you don’t remember what you have learned, then you’ll have to repeat it.
I don’t care to repeat this mistake; it would be just like stepping in ****.

Randy McPeek

I began to resent every second of your company
To end up with the other woman to many, a dream?
A bitter nightmare.
Drenched in self loathing for my actions
I began to slowly abhor you.
Ticking my eyes over you, scouring every inch with hate
Removing your facade,
Every arrogant word you spat,
Your gluttonous ways
Superficial,
Lack of depth.
I detest you

I detest myself for foolishly choosing you.

*Never trade love for lust