Laying up late, flipping through magazines,
Look at these beautiful people,
The bodies of angels who deserve to be seen,
Reading articles, thinking one day,
That could be me.
I just need to lose this waste of flesh, of fat,
Looking into a mirror of everything I hate.
Models can do it, they aren't just built like that.
Thinking one day, that could be me.

I'll skip lunch for a week, just speak
As if I'd eaten a lot before
No one will question me, I'm sure.
I'm quiet regardless, I started cutting down
On the other meals as they come around.
I've been a little dizzy and lightheaded
But I already lost 20 pounds,
One day I'll be beautiful,
Standing over a speechless crowd.

People are starting to take notice,
I'm nervous, making excuses.
I eat here and there so they know I've had enough
Then slip off to get it back up.
My chest hurts a little but I can reach my goal,
To be like the beautiful people, I would sell my soul
Even if I had to starve myself whole.

She was covered in fallen leaves and flowers

I  heard a  strange sound

and spotted the plastic bottles


I plucked the plastic off her

she left out another soft sigh of pain

and then, it rained

One day.
One day, there will be a rapture.
There will be a mighty roar and the Earth will rebel against the sky
And the floodgates of hell will open.
One day, our lives so small against the dawn of life itself
Breaks upon the night destruction and Death.
One day all will be broken as we have broken the bread
And our blood will stream into a mighty ocean
That covers the sun forever
Bringing Death in its wake and Death in its part
One day the line between life and death will blur
And all will be cast in the shadow of our own actions
One day.

Each day hundreds of cells die
And hundreds resurrect - those who
Compose my body, my self.
Thus, I change each moment, bit by bit
Without realisation - a continuous transformation.

Each cell that composes my body
-Living and Dying-
Is as much as heir of my existence
As any other.

A collection of all cells
Makes what I 'am'.
The thought that holds onto a desire of immortality-
Amidst a continuous flux of birth and death
Is perhaps what 'I' am.

When calories become evil,
When diets become starvation,
When 90 pounds becomes fat,
When the scale becomes a shrine,
When life doesn’t feel worth living,
When 3 hours of exercise becomes normal,
Someone starts dying

It's not like i can't see
I know beauty
I know what is beautiful
I know I'm not worth beauty

It's not like i can't feel
I know positivity
I know what is hope
I know I'm not worth any hope

It's not like I don't live
I know life
I know what it means to live
I know for a fact I don't deserve to live