The river flows
But not outside of me
My body
As much as I tell it
It will not respond to my emotions
As much as I cry inside
It will not cry outside
As much as I smile inside
It will not smile outside
It's been a while since I've posted, but I just haven't had much inspiration lately. I finally got inspiration but not in the way I wanted... My grandmother fell at the movie theater yesterday and broke her arm, she was rushed to the hospital had her surgery today. We rushed to see her, and as much I wanted to, as much as I tried, I wouldn't cry. I felt guilty as I saw my mom sobbing uncontrollably, meanwhile I had such an unemotional face. I' autistic and it's like my body doesn't show my emotions, I cry for myself, like when I get yelled at, or am stressed. But, when it comes to death, injuries, even when I myself am injured I just can't cry. And when it's another person, it just hurts so much, because I want to cry, I want to sob, I want to show my pain, but my body won't do that. It's like having a constant mask on my face but one that I don't put on, the real mask is the one that shows the emotions because I hardly ever show lots of emotions on my face. Writing like this has helped, I think I've even found some more inspiration :) to whoever has read the entirety of this, thanks for reading I hope you have a wonderful day or night!
