People are watching

on their screens, just humbug, no --


disasters today.

Why is my neighbour

driving here and who's getting --


into her car there?

The public listens,

and watches me, silently --


I turn the sheet music.

life is beautiful --
but you can't find
the beauty 
in the world,
in your life,
if you're not looking,
or admiring
the space
around you
and within others.

i wasn't searching
for anything --
until i started searching for
love,
only then
i begun to find
little heart shapes
in everything.

bread, 
street cracks,
pages in schoolbooks,
doorways,
steak,
fabric folds, 
car reflections,
freckles --
even those.

i thought
i was losing it --
seeing things.
until i realised,
i was searching for love,
and love
was finding me
the most unique places.
and it was beautiful.

so start looking
around you --
at the little things,
in the quiet.
maybe then
you'll find something
that helps you
heal
and find the beauty
in living 
and something
that reminds you
why living
matters.

Hey, he looks past me,

completely preoccupied --


with my arrival.

I plan my work well,

you're welcome, I embrace you --


with arms wide open.

Mama is bad
she doesn't look
at my painting
she hides her eye

behind the camera
and in her mind she makes
her own painting
of me

another Helena of me
with blood on her hands
an angry ******
with a cool belly

for hot men
a Confident-Blue
belly despite the voyeurs
at mummy's exhibition

who think they see me
while they fantasise
about a 'fille fatale'
pleasing them

I deserve peace and calm and I am able to refocus my attention.