Genuinely feeling hope for something good, and being lead by false hope to believe a lie as truth, are two different beasts
I don't hate myself for what I felt, or thought, but instead what I was lead to think was okay to believe
I was lied to, again; my words beckoned something I thought was genuine, and deceit was all that met me, just like every time before it
I'm sick of being here, of thinking anything gets better, because it's true that the those who spend their fortune at keeping an authentic heart for others will inevitably end up alone, indebted to those who only care of themselves
I give myself away too often, but only for what I objectively observe as being meaningful, but I'm afraid that closing off my mind will bring me to the dark place again, and I never want to go back there
I have no control of what someone believes or feels, nor do I know what that may be, all the same
I just take what I am given, if it seems and feels good; if it echoes compassion and sincerity, because that's exactly what I lack most
I hate being a slave to this paradox, but my freedom may only come with absolute truth
I have no more faith for that - I still hope; potentiality rings, but I know that's one sided on my end
A wish is a wish..
